Pam's Perspective

Good Reads

2012-01-17T14:32:00.007-05:00

I've read a few good books so far this year and even though I haven't managed to write a full review for any of them, I didn't want to completely ignore them either. So, here are some quick reviews of three books I think are worth reading.

Sybil Exposed: The Story Behind the Extraordinary Multiple Personality Case by Debbie Nathan

Growing up in the 1970s, I was very aware of the scintillating story of Sybil and her childhood of horrific abuse. My mom had a copy of the paperback on the shelves in our family room and being a curious teen-aged bookworm, I, of course, picked it up and read it (along with Helter Skelter and Gone with the Wind). I can NOT believe my mother let me read some of those books, but I have always remembered that and vowed that I would not censor my children's reading. Anyway, I digress. When I heard about Sybil Exposed I was completely intrigued and felt compelled to read this painstakingly researched, non-fiction book about how the story of Sybil was actually a fabrication perpetrated by Sybil's psychiatrist, a journalist and mentally unstable (and cruelly manipulated) Sybil herself. I found this book to be fascinating and shocking. Even for the time period portrayed, the behavior of Sybil's psychiatrist was shockingly unethical. One can't help but feel badly for Sybil, who very well could have been cured of her mental illness, if not for the glory seeking psychiatrist who kept her addicted to drugs and believing she was much more ill than she was. Unconscionable. I do know two other people who tried to read this book and couldn't finish it because they felt it bogged down a little with details and technical aspects of her treatment. I did not have any problem with this and found it all very fascinating. Quite possibly because I have a degree in psychology and the information was not all that foreign to me. But knowing that going in, I would recommend this book to anyone who was fascinated by Sybil's story and is curious to know the truth. 4 out 5 stars. I really liked it.

The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt: A novel in pictures by Caroline Preston

First, I must thank Anita for recommending this book to me. What a gorgeous and unique book. As the title states, The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt is a novel in pictures. But it's not a picture book or comic book. The pages of the book are made to look like the scrapbook pages of Frankie Pratt, who has recently received the scrapbook, along with her father's old Corona typewriter, as a high school graduation gift in 1920. The reader follows Frankie's life from Vassar College, to NYC and her first love to Paris via a transatlantic voyage on the Lusitania. All gorgeously illustrated with actual ticket stubs, advertisements, newspaper clippings, corsages and other tidbits that any young woman would paste into a scrapbook. Accompanying each page are typed passages that relate Frankie's adventures. The story itself is fairly simple, but the presentation is unique, charming and sumptuous. It was a delight to turn each page and discover all it's little gems. As a side note, the author has been collecting vintage scrapbooks since she was a teenager and used items from her own collection to create this utterly captivating book. A feast for the eyes. 4 out of 5 stars. I really like it.

Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez

This book sat on my tbr list for quite a while. I'm not really sure why it took so long to make it to the top of the list, but I'm glad it finally did. And again, I have to give credit to Anita. She wrote a review of Wench on her blog and that convinced me to just read it already! And once again, she was right. I thoroughly enjoyed this novel about the lives of 4 slave women who travel north every summer with their male masters to a resort in Ohio. Here they spend their summers as their masters' mistresses. The juxtaposition of these slave women to the black servants at the resort and the free blacks living in the town is jarring and eye opening. The varying nature of the relationships between the different women and their masters is also fascinating and at times surprising. As is the differing ways these men view and relate to these slave women. Truly a side of slavery I did not know much about. A great book for those who love history. 3.5 out of 5 stars. I (more than) liked it.

My Second Act

2012-01-10T21:18:00.005-05:00

There are some big changes on the horizon for me in 2012. I've decided to go back to school to get my Nursing Degree! As shocking as this might seem for a 47 year old wannabe librarian, it really gets back to the core of who I am. And is actually the first step in getting me back on track to my true calling.

From the time I was 5 years old I wanted to be a doctor. I took every science class offered by my HS. I was even a candy striper at the local hospital. And I began my college career as a pre-med student way back in the mid-80s. Then reality hit when I realized I wasn't getting good enough grades to get into medical school. This was a huge crisis for me. I was a wreck for the entire first semester of my sophomore year. When I calmed down enough to think, I decided that I would simply modify my goals slightly and become a nurse. Unfortunately, I was talked out of this by a staunch feminist who told me I would be miserable "taking orders from doctors and emptying bedpans". I was so confused and in such a "state", I thought what she said made perfect sense. I don't believe in regrets, but I sure do wish I had gotten advice from a few more people before abandoning my dream of working in the medical field.

In any case, in all the intervening years, I've never gotten over my love of all things medical and have looked into studying to be a Physician's Assistant or Nurse on a number of occasions. But the time was never right. Until now.

I'm ready to move on from the library where I've worked for nearly 10 years and I have more time now to take classes and study. And I think it's time to follow my instincts. I sure do wish I had listened to my inner voice back in 1984, and I wonder if maybe I'm a little late to the table. Will anyone want to hire a brand new 51 year old nurse? But whenever I start to question my decision, I just imagine looking back at this moment in 10, 15 or 20 years and wishing I had just gone for it. So, that is what I'm going to do. I start January 23rd. Am I crazy? Quite possibly. But I've decided to give it a try. Wish me luck.

Musing Monday

2012-01-09T18:43:00.004-05:00

This week’s Musing Mondays from Should Be Reading asks…

Are there any “raved reads” –books that everyone seems to be talking about– that you’re hoping to get read this year, yourself? What books are they, and why are you hoping to read them? Is it because you want to say you’ve read it? Or, would you have chosen to read it, even if you’d discovered it yourself, and no one was raving about it?“

This is such an interesting and timely question for me. Many times books come to my attention that I decide not to read simply because the topic/plot does not appeal to me. Then I start to see them referenced again and again - on blogs, in newspaper and magazines and across the desk at the library where they seem to always be on hold for someone. Frequently, at this point, I change my mind about wanting to read them. And most often my initial reaction was correct. I really don't like the book all the much. If the topic is not initially appealing, usually the book is not either, regardless of how many other people love it, the great reviews it gets or the number of blogs I see it pop up on. Just this past weekend, I had made a decision to stick to my initial reaction to a book when deciding what to read. And with that in mind, I'm off to clean up my tbr list on Goodreads. I'm looking forward to staring out 2012 with a fresh (reading) slate.

How about you? Are there "hot" books you are dying to read? Are you influenced by the buzz created around some books? Inquiring minds want to know...

Project 52 Review

2012-01-04T19:36:00.004-05:00

Way back in January 2011 I decided to participate in Project 52. I came up with 40 goals that I wanted to complete in 2011 and listed them here on my blog. And for awhile I even updated my progress. And then I stopped. Updating, not necessarily working on my goals. Though I did kind of give up on some of those, too. One thing I learned is that keeping up with and keeping track of weekly goals is just too much trouble. I quickly got overwhelmed with all the "bookkeeping". But since I'm a complete Type A personality, I feel compelled to report on my progress. While I wasn't completely successful, participating in Project 52 did help me keep focused on some things that are important to me.

While I enjoyed participating in Project 52 and felt that it was a worthwhile endeavor, I've decided not to participate in 2012. One thing I spend too much time on is organizing, list making, archiving and generally "keeping track of" a myriad of things. Did I mention I'm Type A? Anyway, my goal for 2012 is to let go of some of this behavior. All the time I spend organizing is actually starting to take too much time. I need to give myself permission to stop unnecessary record keeping type behaviors. OMG! I sound completely loony. I'm really not - at least not completely. But it is time for more balance.

Now for the update. Ummm... Wait a second. I was going to go through the goals one by one and give an update, but in light of what I just wrote *slaps forehead* I think I'll just hit the highlights and reflect on what I learned during the process.

Many of my goals had to do with cooking. I really don't like to cook and find it a terrible chore. While having some specific goals did help me try new recipes, I came nowhere near my goal of cooking three times per week. I'm just going to accept this about myself and not fight it anymore. C'est la vie!

I did somewhat better on my exercise goals. While I didn't join a gym, try Pilates or go to a Zumba class, I did take a 6 week yoga class. And I far surpassed my walking goal of 3 times per week. I have consistently walked an hour a day, 5-7 times per week since the first week in January! I've decided that I'm no longer going to worry about going to a gym or weight training or resistance training or flexibility or any of that. I enjoy walking, I've been keeping it up and it's something I can do anywhere, any time and for the rest of my life. Having this revelation and making this commitment feels like a true success.

I also had some success with my reading/book goals. I did read a Jane Austen book, one book that has lingered on my tbr list for quite awhile and I visited one new to me library in RI. I did not however, read a Shakespeare play or a nonfiction book by Alison Weir from my tbr list. And I only managed to write book reviews for 12 of the 21 4 or 5 star books that I read in 2011.

I accomplished 2 of my 6 travel related goals. The most important of which was a getaway with my husband. I'll count that as a success.

I did a pretty good job with my explore RI goals. I did manage to eat at three swanky restaurants and to explore Hope St. in Providence. And while I didn't make to any of the big, ocean beaches here in RI, which is what I intended when I set the goal, I did visit my little town beach on Narragansett Bay a number of times. And I really do enjoy that. Maybe I need to focus on that and stop feeling bad about not going to the "real" beach.

Accomplishing my family goals proved to be a little harder. Maybe because they were tied to cooking. I set a goal of inviting my mother to dinner once a month and hosting 4 dinners for extended family. I made some progress, but not as much as I would have liked. I did, however, spend more time with my mom this past year doing other things and that was really the idea. So, I'm going to count that as a success. And I did spend lots of time with extended family, just not necessarily at dinners I hosted for that express purpose. So again, the spirit of the goal was met.

As for some of my miscellaneous goals, I did very well on some - keeping up with politics, buying flowers for the family room, saying "no" at work, donating to charity - and not so well on others - posting once a week, watching more movies and scheduling mental health days.

Overall, I think I did pretty well. Having the accountability of Project 52 definitely helped me keep some of my goals in mind, which certainly help me accomplish what I did. But having one more thing to track and organize was definitely not a good thing for me. And that is probably the best thing I got out of participating in Project 52. The realization that too much organizing, record keeping, etc. can actually make you less, not more, efficient. A valuable lesson to learn. And one I need to focus on in 2012. My goal - to become a Type A minus personality. Baby steps.

How about you? Have you set any goals for yourself in 2012? I'd love to hear from you.

Best Books of 2011

2011-12-29T19:27:00.004-05:00

The end of the year seems to be a popular time for "Best of" Lists. I couldn't miss the opportunity to make my own Best List. Of course mine is going to be all about books. Of the 109 books I've read in 2010, 24 of them received a 4 or 5 star rating. Looking back over those, 6 rose to the top as my choice for Best Books Read in 2011. Since not all of these books were published in 2011, this is not technically a Best Books of 2011 list, but a Best Books Read in 2011 list.

Pam's 6 Best Books of 2011

When Elephants Dance by Tess Uriza Holthe - A powerful debut novel that will not leave the reader unaffected. One of three books I read in 2011 that received a perfect 5 stars.

Never Let Me Go by Ishiguro Kazuo - A stunner of a book. People either love it or hate. I loved it so much it was the second book to receive 5 stars in 2011.

Moonflower Vine by Jetta Carleton - A very good story, simply told! The third and final book of 2011 to receive 5 stars.

Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks - The 2012 Reading Across RI (RARI) winner! Brooks is a master at evoking time and place.

Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon- A very original story with characters I came to care deeply about. Thanks to Sue of Book by Book for the recommendation.

Greyhound by Steffan Piper - Best book you've never heard of and might have a hard time finding. But it's worth the effort to try.

2011 was a pretty good book year for me. While I managed to read 12 more books in 2011 than I did in 2010 and I rated 24 of them 4 or 5 stars, I didn't really read any books that WOWed me. I haven't read any books that blew me away since 2009, which was a blockbuster year for me. How about you? What are your top books of 2011? I'd love to hear from you. After all 2012is just around the corner and I can always use some recommendations.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

2011-09-16T15:34:00.016-04:00

Is summer over already? It just flew by. It was quite the eventful summer, too, and I didn't blog about any of it. My bad. In the interest of brevity and to avoid boring you to death, here is the Cliff's Notes version of my life over the last 3 months or so...

Birthday Celebration

Over 4th of July weekend, we traveled to Denver to celebrate the 70th birthday of Geoff's Aunt Marianne. We are very close to her and Geoff's Uncle Mike and it was a nice chance to see family members that we don't see all that often.

Marianne and Mike

Anniversary Celebration

Geoff surprised me with a weekend getaway at Castle Hill Inn in Newport for our anniversary. It was a lovely surprise and the weekend was filled with lots of little luxuries - roses, champagne, gourmet meals and time to relax on the private beach. I felt very pampered.

Castle Hill Inn

Renovation/Remodel Hell

On August 1, we had to empty out the first floor of our home to prepare for some minor renovations. It's now September 18th and it's still not done. I'm about to lose my mind. I could really use another weekend at Castle Hill Inn.

My Family Room

Driver's License

On August 2nd, Madeleine got her Driver's License!!!! It's hard to describe the feeling I have now that my chauffeuring duties are completely over. Relief, wistfulness, sadness, disbelief. But mostly relief. I'm not sure Geoff feels that same sense of relief. He really misses driving her to school every morning. He's trying to convince her to go to Brown University after she graduates so that he can drive her to class every day on his way to Providence. The empty nest is looming large. *sigh*

Brand New Driver

50 Years...and Counting

In early August, we spent a long weekend in Woodstock, VT with Geoff's extended family to celebrate his parents' 50th Anniversary! We had a wonderful weekend at the Woodstock Inn. The main event of the trip was a special celebratory dinner in honor of Gary and Audrey's 50th. The dinner was absolutely lovely - complete with special flowers, a small wedding cake, champagne and specially designed M&Ms to commemorate the occasion. Each of Geoff's parents made a speech and Geoff and his two siblings toasted their parents. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Truly a memorable and momentous occasion.

Gary and Audrey

College Drop 0ff - Second Time's a Charm

On August 27th, we dropped Katie off to start her sophomore year at college. Things went much more smoothly than the fiasco that was last year. I sensed that she was a little reluctant to let us leave, but since we were trying to outrun Tropical Storm Irene, we didn't have much choice but to get on the road.

Katie's Dorm Room

Speaking of Tropical Storms...

Irene was downgraded to a tropical storm by the time it got to RI, but that didn't stop it from knocking out our power for 6 DAYS! I have a whole new respect for people who live in the south and deal with hurricanes on a regular basis. The inconvenience was - well, inconvenient. Not to mention my house was already under renovation and I had only gotten my (electric) stove reinstalled the day before the storm hit. Ugh! But, fortunately, we didn't suffer any damage and we had hot water throughout the ordeal. Not everyone was so fortunate.

Annual Family Weekend in New Hampshire

As we have since 2007, we spent Labor Day weekend in a rented house in NH with my Dad and Sandy and my brother's family. As this trip came right on the heels of Irene (and we still didn't have power when we left), it came at a good time. I really needed to get away and get out of my head with regards to our lack of electricity, the inconvenience and how it had brought the (never ending) work on our house to screeching halt. (I was just a wee bit cranky that week.) I spent the weekend reading on the screened porch and napping. It was fabulous. I felt very refreshed when I got back home.

Dad and me reading on the screened porch

Back to School

Madeleine started her Junior year of High School on September 6th - one week late due to Tropical Storm Irene. It was very exciting for her to drive herself to school for the first time. This school year really feels like the start of a new chapter. Junior year is such an important one. A year focused so much on preparing for life after HS. That, combined with the independence that comes with having a license, has really changed the makeup and tone of our days. It's freeing and exciting, but it's also a little unsettling. I always find the start of the school year a time of adjustment. This year the adjustment seems to be less about getting used to a new routine, and more about adjusting to the next phase in life. And not just for Madeleine.

Madeleine's First Day of Junior Year in HS

Katie's First Day of Sophomore Year in College

Looking back I can see why the summer flew by. It was a busy and sometimes chaotic summer. But there was a lot of fun and love, too. All in all, a good summer. How about you? What did you do on your summer vacation?

Summer Reading Recommendations

2011-07-06T20:48:00.008-04:00

It's already July and summer is definitely in full swing here in the Rhode Island and in our household. Both girls are out of school and we've been enjoying the more relaxed pace of summer vacation. I've been getting a lot of reading done and I've read a few really great books. In case you need some inspiration for your own summer reading, here are three books I highly recommend. Happy reading!

Labor Day by Joyce Maynard - When lonely 13 year old Henry and his fragile single mother, Adele, meet a bleeding man on the Thursday before Labor Day, little do they know that their lives will never be the same.

Adele and Henry agree to help Frank and over the course of the next five days, Frank teaches Henry how to play baseball, bake a pie and believe in himself. Henry also learns the importance of putting others before himself. Labor Day is a story of love, redemption and second chances.

I read this book with the book club I run at the library. We had a lively discussion about the characters, their motivations and psyches. This book is ripe for analysis and interpretation. The author has written a wonderful and illuminating essay that adds a depth of understanding to the origin of the story and the characters themselves. A great book for book clubs. 4 stars - I really liked it.

Vaclav & Lena by Haley Tanner - Vaclav & Lena is the story of two 7 year old Russian emigres living in Brooklyn who meet in an ESL class and become each other's only friend. Lena spends every day after school until bedtime at Vaclav's house where she is embraced by Vaclav's mother, Rasia.

Inexplicably, one day Lena disappears and a bewildered Vaclav spends the next seven years wondering what happened to her. When Lena just as suddenly reappears in Vaclav's life, he finally gets the answer to his questions. And with Vacla's help, Lena gets the answers to her questions as well.

Vaclav and Lena in an absolutely amazing debut novel. The story is original and engaging and the characters are wonderfully rendered and very real. I am stunned that this is Haley Tanner's first novel. She is a talented storyteller and a gifted writer. The level of originality and sophistication in Vaclav & Lena is truly astonishing for a young, first time author. I am anxious to see what Tanner writes next. My only regret is that I didn't read this book for book club. I'm dying to talk about it with someone. 4 stars- I really liked it.

The Dry Grass of August by Anna Jean Mayhew -Another debut novel, this time by a woman in her 70s! The Dry Grass of August will appeal to lovers of Kathryn Stockett's The Help.

It's 1954 and 13 year old Jubie Watts and her family are travelling from Charlotte, NC to Florida with their black maid, Mary. Mary has been a part of the Watts' household for as long as Jubie can remember. But Mary is so much more than just a maid. She serves as a stabilizing force and a source of comfort and love to Jubie and her siblings.

As the family travels south, Jubie becomes uncomfortably aware of the increasing level of anti-segregation sentiment and racial tension. This tension will eventually change the Watts family, and Jubie in particular, forever.

The Dry Grass of August is a terrific story detailing a tension filled time in our nation's history. It's also a coming of age story of a young girl confronted with a question of morality at a tender age. Mayhew has written a thoughtful book filled with wisdom. The characters of Mary and Jubie are especially vividly drawn. The voice of Jubie is reminiscent of To Kill a Mockingbird's Scout and Mary will bring to mind the wise and loving Abileen from The Help. Another wonderful book for book clubs. 4 stars - I really liked it.

How about you? Have you read any good books this summer? Does your summer reading differ at all from what you read the rest of the year?

Book Reviews: A Widow's Story by Joyce Carol Oates and Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks

2011-06-11T20:30:00.013-04:00

I've recently read two wonderful books, either of which would make great summer reads.

A Widow's Story by Joyce Carol Oates - A Widow's Tale is a memoir written by Oates after the unexpected death of her husband, Ray. At first I wasn't going to read this book because I'm a little tired of memoirs and I had read Joan Didion's memoir, A Year of Magical Thinking, which deals with the exact same subject. However, I kept hearing such glowing things about this book that I just had to see for myself. I'm so glad I did. I enjoyed this book on so many different levels. First and foremost was the writing. Oh my goodness. Oates is a master of evocative language. She can express the most emotionally authentic thoughts eloquently and succinctly. I was constantly amazed at the beautiful way in which she set her thoughts and emotions on paper. I also found her descriptions of her life with Ray to be fascinating. They had a very unique relationship. It was an intellectual and academic life between two people who had the utmost respect for each other. But there is also something fragile and childlike about Oates and in many ways her relationship with Ray seemed to have a father-figure quality to it. I was also fascinated to read how Oates views her fame. In her mind, she is Joyce Smith and Joyce Carol Oates (or JCO, as she refers to her public persona) is just that - a public persona, a draining role she is reluctantly required to fulfill. Fascinating! I've never heard anyone else talk about this before. I also learned that she is a notoriously private person and rarely gives interviews or shares anything of her personal life with the public. So writing this intensely personal book was quite a giant leap of faith for her. And very brave for one so seemingly unsure of herself. And lastly, from my own experiences with grief - both personal and as a witness to a situation very similar to Oates - I feel that Oates presents a view of grief that is authentic, real and heartrendingly accurate. 4/5 stars - I really liked it!

Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks - I absolutely LOVE Geraldine Brooks' books. If you haven't already read A Year of Wonders or People of the Book, you simply must add them to the top of your tbr list! And while you're at it add Caleb's Crossing as well. Brooks is a master of evoking time and place. Her use of language, dialogue and even her writing style perfectly fit the time period and the characters of her novels. Caleb's Crossing is an historical fiction novel set in the late 1600's on Martha's Vineyard and Cambridge, MA. It tells the story of Caleb Cheeshahteaumuck, the first Native American to graduate from what would become Harvard University and his friendship with a young white girl, Bethia Mayfield. Bethia yearns for an education, which is closed off to her because of her sex. Meanwhile, Bethia's father is struggling to convert the natives to Christianity and one of his projects is to educate Caleb. Brooks does a wonderful job of presenting the societal issues of the day without becoming preachy or presenting one side or the other as being all good or all bad. The reader is presented with a clear view of the life and times of the Puritan settlers and the Native Wampanoag tribe living both on the wild island of Great Harbor and in the gritty community of Cambridge. What makes the book even more compelling is that Brooks lives on Martha's Vineyard and came to write this story when she came across a document that mentioned the real life Caleb Cheeshahteamuck. There is very little information about Caleb, but Brooks felt that his amazing story was one that should not be forgotten to time. If that isn't enough to grab your attention, it's interesting to note that until this past May when Tiffany Smalley graduated from Harvard, Caleb was not just the first Wampanoag to graduate from Harvard, he was the only one! Imagine that! 4/5 stars - I really liked it.

Never Forget

2011-05-30T09:09:00.006-04:00

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up your quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders Fields.

~John McCrae*

*Maj. John McCrae of the Canadian Army is best know for his famous war poem "In Flanders Fields," written following the death of a friend during the 1915 battle in the Yspres salient. McCrae composed the poem while sitting in the back of an ambulance, looking out on a nearby cemetery filled with wild poppies.

Freshman Year - A Mom's Retrospective

2011-05-22T19:02:00.009-04:00

In the blink of an eye, Katie's freshman year of college is over. She came home last Saturday and it's so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that her first year of college is over. Incredible.

In the week or so leading up to her homecoming, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my experience over the course of the last 9 months. The range of emotions and my experience adjusting to this new stage of parenting is incredibly varied.

The first two weeks were spent in perpetual thought of her. I was constantly thinking of reasons to call her. I found myself on her Facebook page (something I hadn't done much of in the past) just to see if I could glean any information about what her days were like. And when I did find something I obsessed about whether I should comment. Would she think I was stalking her (I was) or would she feel bad that her mom wasn't wishing her good luck on her first college math test? What to do? I was wracked with indecision and angst. It was a rough two weeks. The good news is that she called and texted often. So I did have a sense of how she was doing. The bad news is that a lot of our conversations were about things that were worrying or upsetting her. So then I was worried and upset. And of course by the time we next spoke, the crises was long over - for her. That was difficult lesson to learn.

After the first couple of weeks, I really felt that I had adjusted to having my first child out of the nest. But I was wrong. Without realizing it, I was a total wreck. I knew I felt a little "off" and I craved a retreat of some sort, but I wasn't connecting it to Katie's departure. I was fortunate enough to arrange a week long getaway in the Berkshires in Massachusetts. I went with a friend in a similar situation and we spent our time in quiet contemplation and exploration of the surrounding area. We even spent one night taking turns talking about issues that were weighing on our minds. It felt good to get it all out. But my real relief came after my friend left (she had to get back) and I had a day and a half to myself. I drove to the top of a mountain, hoping to climb the observation tower for a view of the valley. The tower was closed for the season (it was late October), but I decided to explore a little on my own. After walking around a bit, I sat on a low stone wall, overlooking the valley below and without warning all my emotions rushed to the surface and I began to quietly weep - releasing all the pent up emotion of the previous weeks and even months of Katie's leave taking. Another solo visitor saw me sitting there and approached me and asked me if she could pray with me. Not being a religious person, I politely declined her heartfelt and generous offer. But her care and concern touched me deeply. Despite my lack of religious belief, I do believe she was there for a reason. I will never forget that moment or her kindness. It was certainly a defining moment for me.

And it wasn't just I who was changing. Thanksgiving was a difficult visit for Katie and me. She was difficult and demanding and I regretted the tone of that visit. I was apprehensive as winter break approached. Five weeks is a long time. I hoped it would not be a repeat of Thanksgiving. And it wasn't. I noticed in change in Katie. She was less combative and more cheerful. It was a great visit. And each subsequent visit - a weekend in February, spring break in March and Easter weekend - proved to be fairly positive. Still I was concerned about summer. Three months is a long time. Could we all live harmoniously? It's a big transition to live on your own at college to re-assimilating back into family life. Would it go smoothly? Would we all be at odds with each other? How would the family dynamic change? Would it change?

I think it's too soon to answer these questions. The first few days that Katie was home I noticed a concerted effort on her part to be amenable and cheerful. It seemed as though perhaps she had grown up some while away at college. But signs of our old tensions and struggles are starting to appear now. I sense her struggling to fit back into the new family dynamic that has emerged while she has been away. I can tell she feels a little out of place. I am struggling with this. How do I make the necessary adjustments that she seems to require, when I'm unable to anticipate or recognize what she wants from me? And what if what she wants is unrealistic? I think there are more adjustments to be made as I navigate this new stage in parenthood. Perhaps I'm going to have to find another mountaintop to visit before the summer is over.

Seriously?

2011-05-16T17:34:00.004-04:00

You can't make this stuff up. Here's a conversation I had today with a patron.

Patron: Are you Pat?

Me: No, I'm Pam. Can I help you with something?

Patron: I was in here the other day and I bought one of the music cassette you had for sale. It was the worse 10 cents I ever spent. I put it back in the box. I'd like my dime back. The woman upstairs said I need to speak to Pat.

Me: ....... Well, I'm not sure where Pat is, but I can give you a dime. (hand him a dime)

Patron: Thank you. (he leaves)

Me: Am I on Candid Camera?

Now I've heard it all!

Project 52 - Weeks 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

2011-05-08T10:58:00.004-04:00

Well, so much for updating my Project 52 goals once a month. Since I'm a week late, I'm including Week 19 as well!

Weeks 15-19 were all pretty good weeks for me. I did a decent job of keeping up with my weekly and monthly/multi-event goals and I even crossed off 2 of my one-time goals! But I have noticed that my motivation on my weekly goals is definitely waning. Not only the motivation of keeping up with them, but also the motivation to keep track of them. One thing I've learned is that if I participate in Project 52 next year, I will not include any weekly goals. Here's my accounting of how I did:

Weekly Goals

3. Cook 3 times per week - Epic fail! I didn't accomplish this at all in Weeks 15-19. Ugh! Score: 9/52

10. Walk/Exercise 3 times per week - I'm still going strong on my exercise goal. I walked 7 days in Week 15 and 19, 6 days during Weeks 16 and 17 and 4 times during Week 18. I think I've been successful in making exercise a permanent part of my routine! Woot, Woot! Score: 16/52

30. Pay attention to local politics - Check! I'm still doing a good job keeping up with local politics. And I did do a better job of keeping up with international politics during the month of April, which I had set as a goal last month. I'm going to continue to work on that in May. Score: 18/52

33. Post at least once a week - Nope. I missed Week 18. Score: 16/52

34. Write a weekly letter to Katie - Done! Score: 14/32

36. Keep fresh flowers in the family room - Check! And today I was given a lovely bouquet in honor of Mother's Day. It was made even more special because Geoff and Madeleine both remembered my favorite flower, Gerbera Daisy, and chose a bouquet featuring a lovely light pink one. Score: 18/52.

Monthly and Multi-Event Goals

1. Try one new non-soup recipe a month - April was a bust! But I have already made one new recipe in May - Moroccan Zucchini Lamb Chili (Geoff and I loved it. Madeleine, not so much. What else is new?) Score: 4/12

5. Invite my mother to dinner once a month - Gulp! Another failure in April. Are you noticing a theme here - anything to do with cooking is a real struggle for me. Madeleine and I did take her out to a Mother's Day Tea today. I'd like to count that for May's dinner, but I won't. That's really not in keeping with the spirit of this goal. Score: 3/12

31. Watch one Netflix month a month - I am really on top of this one. Not only did I watch a Netflix DVD in April (Mad Men Season 4 Disc 1) I have already watched one in May (Conviction). I loved both, btw. Score: 5/12

32. Go to the movies once a month - Another success! I saw movies in April - Jane Eyre with a girlfriend (loved it!) and Water for Elephants with a group of girlfriends from my book club (we all loved it!) I also already met this goal for May since I saw Something Borrowed last night (exactly what you would expect from a romantic comedy). Score: 4/12

37. Donate to a charity or cause once a month - Done! In April, we donated to a political cause whose values match our own. Score: 4/12

38. Just say "no" at work - Without going into details, I did have an opportunity to express myself about an issue at work and I got up the courage to be honest about my opinion. It was a little nerve-wracking, but in the end it all worked out. However, I have a very specific event in mind when it comes to saying "no" at work. An event that should be coming up in the next few months. Let's see if I can stick to my guns on this one. *fingers crossed* Score: Making progress

40. Schedule one Mental Health Day a month - I did follow through with the plan I formed in late March to have a Do Not Disturb day in April. On April 8th I stayed home, cozied up on the sofa and caught up on DVDs I'd been wanting to watch (Never Let Me Go, Made Men and episode one of Cranford. All excellent!) Score: 3/12

One Time Goals

4. Buy a Dutch Oven - This one happened quite by accident. I was shopping at Sam's Club and saw a gorgeous bright red Dutch oven for a very reasonable price. Sold! Score: Completed!

13. Join and complete Shape Up RI - Back on February 7th, Geoff and I joined a group of 9 other friends to form a team for the our statewide health and fitness challenge - Shape Up RI. The idea of Shape Up RI is for participants to track their exercise minutes, steps per day, weight loss and number of fruits and veggies consumed for twelve weeks. The challenged ended on May 7th and I'm proud to state that both Geoff and I finished in good standing. Over the course of the 12 weeks I lost 8 pounds, walked 870,178 steps and exercised for 3,790 minutes. (Geoff lost an amazing 25 pounds!!! I'm so proud of him!) I did not do as well on eating my requisite 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day, however. I always thought I ate lots of fruits and vegetables, so I was very surprised to see that in reality I do not. Ugh! Perhaps that can be a goal for 2012's Project 52. Score: Completed!

How about you? How are you doing on your Project 52 goals or New Year's Resolutions? I'd love to hear about your progress.

It's Not About You

2011-05-04T12:15:00.009-04:00

As some of you know, I'm on the nominating committee for Reading Across Rhode Island (RARI). This year I was so please when the committee chose Rhode Island native, Craig Mullaney's amazing memoir The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier's Education. When I saw this book on the list of nominated books my immediate reaction was that I had no interest in reading a "war book" and would wait to see if was eliminated in early discussions before committing to reading it. During our first session, another member of the group stated that she had the read book (even though she was sure she wouldn't be interested) and that it was fabulous. That got me curious. I decided to read it before our next meeting. And it made a very positive impression on me. At our next meeting there were several of us who had read the book and we all gushed about what a wonderful choice it would be for RARI. The rest is history.

This past weekend was the official celebration for The Unforgiving Minute. I had the great fortune of being invited to attend a reception for Mullaney on Friday night at his alma mater, Bishop Hendricken High School (a Catholic HS for boys). It was an extremely informal affair and I had a chance to talk briefly with him and have him sign my book. I told him how much I enjoyed his book and that I was strong supporter of it as our RARI selection. He was very gracious and humble. Then on Saturday I attended RARI's culminating event, the May Breakfast, in which Mullaney appeared and gave a talk to 425 enthusiastic readers. I attended the event with 10 members from my two book clubs. Part of the May Breakfast is also a food drive for a local pantry and participants are encouraged to bring canned goods and use them to create a centerpiece for their table. This year one of the women from my library book club, Donna, created a centerpiece that was reminiscent of one of the photographs from the book. She finished setting it up before the breakfast officially began and it immediately caught Mullaney's eye. He came right over to our table and spent the next 20 minutes talking to Donna, her husband Joe and the other members of our group. He even graciously agreed to pose for photos. It was very exciting. In the four years that I have been attending these events, no author has ever come into the crowd to visit with participants! We were all thrilled.

He then went on to give a very moving talk about the lessons he learned during his years at West Point, Ranger School, and at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar. He also explained to us how those lessons prepared him to lead a platoon in Afghanistan. He spoke emotionally about the deep toll the loss of one of his men had on him and stated that writing the book was really his letter to that young man's parents. This was the first time I have been moved to tears at a RARI breakfast. He also spoke eloquently of personal responsibility, responsibility for others and responsibility to our communities. He summed up this sense of responsibility when he remembered the words of one of the men who trained him at Ranger School - "It's not about you". Mullaney related to us how the full force of those words hit him when he was told of the final words uttered by the soldier in his platoon as he lay dying. Private O'Neill asked, "How are the other guys?" It's not about you. Quite a powerful message.

A Day for Quiet Reflection

2011-05-02T07:12:00.004-04:00

Does anyone else feel that the public celebrations of Osama bin Laden's death being telecast on national TV are inappropriate? I think it's entirely natural to feel proud, relieved, thankful and even pleased. But, I also feel that this is an occasion that should lead to quiet reflection and remembrance. Not a party in the streets as though your favorite team just won the Super Bowl. This type of behavior seems disrespectful and even offensive. Please take a moment today to remember all the innocent lives lost on 9/11 and all the brave servicemen and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice in pursuit of this goal.

A Visit to the Empty Nest

2011-04-22T14:39:00.006-04:00

For the last week, Geoff and I have had a sneak peek of Life in the Empty Nest. Our oldest daughter, Katie, is away at college and our younger daughter, Madeleine, has been in France for the past week with her French class. Before she left, I flip-flopped from being thrilled to have a week to ourselves, to being terrified. Geoff and I have had the occasional vacation without kids, but we've never been home all by ourselves for more than a night or two. I really wasn't sure how it would feel. Would we stare blankly at each other across the silent dinner table or charm each other with sparkling conversation? Would we reconnect with each other as a couple or wonder who the heck is this person I'm sharing a home with? Would we feel off balance in a house gone suddenly quiet and still?

Happily, we did just fine. Since we were able to focus only on each other, we did have some great conversations. It was refreshing to have the time, space and freedom to do that. As it turned out, we didn't have an opportunity to stare blankly at each other across the dinner table, because we were both so busy this week that we only had two dinners together! Wow! Normally I don't think I would have realized how busy we both are. When there is so much going on at home, you kind of lose track of the days. But when it's just two of you, it's a lot more noticeable when the house is empty in the evening. I felt kind of bad about this at first, but upon reflection I think it's a good thing. Being active and busy and engaged in the world will probably serve us well when we live in the Empty Nest full time. I don't think we will ever get to the point where we don't have anything to say to each other. And when we are both sitting down together over dinner or in the evenings, we will appreciate the time together to reconnect.

The only downside of my visit to the Empty Nest is that it struck me that Madeleine will be going away to college in 2 short years. That really snuck up on me. I know how quickly these next 2 years are going to fly by and I am already getting sad thinking of the day that Geoff and I will drive her to college. It breaks my heart just thinking of it. So for now, I'm going to focus on the fact that in a few short hours not only will she be back from France, but Katie will also be home for Easter. What a strange feeling to be welcoming both my girls home in time for a holiday. Shades of things to come...

Books vs. Movies - The Great Debate

2011-04-17T21:25:00.003-04:00

I used to think that I didn't like movies that were made from books. I had the attitude that "the book is always better than the movie". But recently I've begun to see things a little differently and have a had a change of heart. I can no longer make such a blanket statement.

It all started with Memoirs of a Geisha. By the time that book had been made into a movie, it had been several years since I had read the book. I LOVED that book and was anxious (though nervous) to see the film. The film was absolutely gorgeous and wonderful and I couldn't remember enough details of the book to know if the movie butchered it or not. The same thing happened with The Lovely Bones and The Other Boleyn Girl. At that point, I changed my opinion and decided that as long as I had read the book long enough ago, that I would be able to judge the movie on its own merits and not compare it unfavorably to the original.

And then last week, I had to reevaluate my stance on this issue yet again. A few weeks ago I read and reviewed the fantastic Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I LOVED this book and couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. I was aware that it had been made into a movie very recently and I was anxious to see the film. I watched it within a couple of weeks of reading the book and was afraid that since I remembered the book vividly I might regret watching the film. I was wrong! Even though the movie did stray from the book in a few minor ways, I loved it! It was very well done and watching the movie actually enhanced my understanding of the characters and added a whole new layer of appreciation for the story. This was so unexpected and such a revelation. It has caused me to rethink my whole philosophy on movies made from books.

The timing of this attitude adjustment couldn't be better, either. There are two current movies based on books that I've loved either playing now or opening soon - Jane Eyre and Water for Elephants. I actually saw Jane Eyre last night and thought it was terrific. The cinematography was gorgeous and I thought the movie was very well done. I loved that most of the actors are relative unknowns and their "celebrity" did not get in the way of the characters they were playing (if you know what I mean). This very issue is one that worries me about Water for Elephants. I am excited to see this movie, but I think it was very miscast. I really can't envision Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon in the leading roles. But, I'm willing to put aside my reservations. I just might be surprised. As I've recently come to realize, the book isn't always better than the movie.

How about you? Do you enjoy seeing movies made from your favorite books? Or do you avoid them at all costs?

Project 52 - Weeks 10, 11, 12, 13,14

2011-04-04T07:00:00.002-04:00

Well, so much for updating my Project 52 goals once a month. Since I'm a week late, I'm including Week 14 as well!

Weeks 10-14 were all pretty good weeks for me. I did a decent job of keeping up with my weekly and monthly/multi-event goals and I even crossed off 2 of my one-time goals! I like those the best. Crossing things off of lists gives me a real sense of accomplishment! Here's my accounting of how I did:

Weekly Goals

3. Cook 3 times per week - I was able to do this for weeks 11, 12 and 13, but I only cooked twice in week 10 and a measly one time in Week 14. Not too bad, especially since this is one of the hardest goals on the list for me. Score: 9/52

10. Walk/Exercise 3 times per week - Success! I blew this goal out of the water. Weeks 10 and 12 I walked 5 times and Weeks 11, 13 and 14 I walked 6 times! Woot, Woot! Score: 11/52

30. Pay attention to local politics - Check! I'm still doing a good job keeping up with local politics, especially education. I've also been paying close attention to the discussion surrounding RI's unfunded pension liability and the suggested reforms. I could be doing a better job of paying attention to national and international news. I'm going to try to focus on that in the month of April. Score: 13/52

33. Post at least once a week - Nope. I missed Week 12. Score: 12/52

34. Write a weekly letter to Katie - Done! Score: 9/32

36. Keep fresh flowers in the family room - Check! Score: 13/52.

Monthly and Multi-Event Goals

1. Try one new non-soup recipe a month - I nailed this one in March. I actually tried 4 new recipes! (I'm really tempted to count three of those for future months.) Score: 2/12

2. Try 6 new soup recipes - I finally found a soup that we all like - Winter Casserole Soup. Delicious! This may be the last new soup recipe until Fall. Soup season is (thankfully) almost behind us. Score: 4/6

5. Invite my mother to dinner once a month - Yup. During Katie's Spring Break we celebrated St. Patrick's Day with a traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner, which is something my mother loves. And as a bonus she had a chance to spend some time with Katie. Score: 3/12

14. Write book reviews for all 4 and 5 star books read in 2011 - In the past few weeks I have read 5 really great books, four of them back to back. One book, The Moonflower Vine, scored it's own review, but it was impossible for me to keep up with individual reviews for the other four so I wrote one Book Feast blog post. Score: 7/7

31. Watch one Netflix month a month - I did finally watch The Last Station, which I thought was a terrific movie about the last years of Tolstoy's life. I was so fascinated that when the movie was over I did a little research on Tolstoy and decided to read his novella The Death of Ivan Ilyich. It was interesting to read it after learning more about Tolstoy's philosophy. Score: 3/3

32. Go to the movies once a month - Geoff and I saw the Adjustment Bureau. I really enjoyed it. I usually have a hard time following the plots of action adventure movies, but this one was written in such a way that I actually understood it! Amazing! And it was a even an intelligent story. Imagine that. A thinking woman's action adventure movie. Go figure! Score: 2/12

37. Donate to a charity or cause once a month - As it turned out Geoff and I had three opportunities to donate to charities/causes this month. Our planned donation was to our town's Education Foundation, which provides "extras" to our local schools - items such as digital cameras, video equipment, technology supplies for the libraries, etc. Sadly, we also made a donation to a local church in memory of the mother of one of Geoff's friends/employees. And lastly, we made a contribution to a political cause that is important to Geoff after receiving a fundraising phone call and letter. Seems like there is always a good cause to support. Score: 3/12

40. Schedule one Mental Health Day a month - Nope! During the last full week of March, I realized that I hadn't scheduled a Mental Health Day and there was no opportunity left in the days remaining. I suppose this is actually a good thing, since I didn't feel the need to "check out" for a day. But I plan on remedying this early in April. As a matter of fact, tomorrow is already earmarked in my calendar as a "Do Not Disturb Day"! Score: 2/12

One Time Goals

18. Read one book on my tbr list that has been on the list for at least 3 years - I got a really pleasant surprise when I looked through my tbr list to find a book to meet this criteria. Seems I've either done a good job of keeping up with my list or of weeding out stagnant books, because the oldest books I could find were added to the list in March 2009. And those books were all non-fiction books written by Alison Weir. Reading one of Weir's book is #17 on my list, so I decided to pick the next oldest book to meet this criteria. That was The Moonflower Vine by Jetta Carlson, which was added in December 2009. It was fabulous! Score: Completed!

25. Spend the weekend in Portsmouth, NH with a friend - I've started the preliminary planning on this trip. My friend, Margaret, and I talked about going some time this spring, but could not find a date that worked well. So, we've decided to go in the fall. New Hampshire in the fall! Sounds like a good time to visit. Both Margaret and I have a lot going on during most weekends next fall, so we'll see if we can squeeze this one in. I sure hope so.

26. Explore the shops on Hope St. in Providence - This goal turned out to have a added bonus attached to it. Not only did I explore the shops, I did it with Katie! Before Katie came home for spring break she mentioned that she wanted to put a day aside to spend with me! I was so surprised by this. Usually when she comes home she just wants to sleep and spend time with her friends. So this really touched me. We ended up spending the day on Hope St - shopping, browsing, having lunch at an adorable diner and getting dessert a local bakery. It was a great day! Score: Completed!

How about you? How are you doing on your Project 52 goals or New Year's Resolutions? I'd love to hear about your progress.

A Feast of Books

2011-04-01T16:50:00.006-04:00

It seems that for the last several months, when it comes to great books, it’s either feast or famine. And right now I’ve been enjoying the most amazing feast. In the last month or so I’ve read 4 terrific books. Since I’m behind on writing reviews, I’m just going to do mini reviews of all four of them in one post.

Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier – Chevalier has written quite a few books, most famously The Girl with the Pearl Earring. She is one of my favorite authors and I’m always interested to check out her latest book. I must admit that when I read the summary of Remarkable Creatures, I was not all that interested and had decided not to read it. But then Peggy, one of my co-workers whose opinion I value, said it was a great story and would make a good book club choice. And she was right. The story takes place in the early decades of the 1800s during a time of great scientific discovery. Remarkable Creatures tells the story of Elizabeth Philpot and Mary Anning, two unlikely friends who live on the coast of England in an area rich in fossils. The two women are both fossil hunters – but for very different reasons. When Mary makes an important discovery, she is thrust into the world of academia, for which she is ill equipped and which is also closed off to her because she is a woman. But Remarkable Creatures is about so much more than fossil hunting. It’s about social class, the roles of the sexes in the early 19^th century and most importantly about female friendship in all its incarnations. This is a great read and it generated a wonderful book discussion – all the more so since it is based on real people and actual events! 4 stars – I really liked it.

The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy – After watching the wonderful movie, The Last Station, about the last years of Tolstoy’s life, I found myself wanting to learn more about this intriguing and mystifying man. I did a little research which led me to want to immediately pick up one of his books and read it. I have always wanted to read Anna Karenina (and I will someday), but I decided I wasn’t ready to make such a big commitment. During my research, I learned that Tolstoy was fascinated with religion and death and that he was quite a philosopher. His novella, The Death of Ivan Ilyich was mentioned as being “one of the world’s supreme masterpieces on the subject of death and dying”. I decided it would be the perfect book to scratch my Tolstoy itch. Not only is it short , it deals with a topic that is pure Tolstoy and it was written in the latter part of his life – which fit in nicely with the fact that my interest was generated by the movie. In addition, I remember having read it in college in my Russian Literature course and I still have my copy. It was so much fun to see the passages that I highlighted as a 20 year old all those years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting this classic piece of literature, which deals with a middle aged man, who has followed all the rules in his life and now finds himself suddenly faced with his own death. A matter he has never spent a moment considering. The Death of Ivan Ilyich follows Ivan’s journey as he comes to terms with his imminent demise. I noticed as I was reading that my long ago self had not highlighted any of the 34 page introduction. Which is not all that surprising. But it is a shame, because I got so much more out of this story by having first read the introduction. I can’t say that I came to any great epiphany after reading Ivan’s story. I have a feeling I’m still too far removed from my own death (at least I hope I am), but it I did enjoy the wonderful writing and I certainly can appreciate Tolstoy’s message about death. I’m pretty sure the whole point of the story was lost on me as college student. I’m so glad I made the time to revisit this “supreme masterpiece”. 4 stars – I really liked it.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro – I LOVED this book! I can not say it enough. I listened to the audio version of this one in my car and I’m not sure I would have loved it quite so much if I had read it, but I can’t be sure. The book is written in a very conversational style, which might have seemed a little sleepy on the written page. Never Let Me Go takes place in England in the 1990s (my best guess). It is narrated by Kathy, a 31 year old woman, who is reminiscing about her time at a Hailsham, a boarding school, with her two closest friends Tommy and Ruth. The students at Hailsham were sheltered from the outside world and made to feel special and separate from it. Kathy left Hailsham, Tommy and Ruth behind long ago, but when they are reunited she begins to allow herself to think about her time there and to explore the dark secrets of who they really are. I don’t want to give too much away, but Ishiguro masterfully reveals the plot in small crumbs that kept me questioning and rapt. I couldn’t wait to get into my car to run errands or drive to work. I simply had to find out how this story would fully reveal itself. Never Let Me Go would make a fabulous book club book since it not only deals with issues that lend themselves well to discussion, but Ishiguro also leaves the reader pondering some big questions. Fabulous! (Note: I have heard from a friend that her book club read this one and people either loved it or hated it, but I think it’s worth giving it a try. Because if you’re in the love it camp, you will be so happy to have read it). 5 stars – I LOVED it!

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand – Unbroken tells the remarkable true story of the record breaking Olympic runner and WWII veteran and POW Louis Zamperini. The book covers Zamperini’s life from his years as a delinquent teenager all way up to the present day as a still vibrant 93 year old. But the majority of the book focuses on Zamperini’s time as a bombardier and POW in the Pacific theater during WWII. Zamperini’s plane was shot down over the Pacific and he and 2 other men survived over 40 days on a leaky life raft in the shark infested waters. That alone is hard to fathom. However, when the survivors finally wash ashore it is on a Japanese controlled island and the men are taken as POWs. The majority of the book chronicles Zamperini’s time in various POW camps . What Zamperini and the other POWs were subjected to defies explanation. There were many parts of the book that I found how to believe. And while many of the atrocities are related in the book, they are handled with great sensitivity. But this is not a story of torture, it is a story of survival and the strength of the human spirit and the incredible will to live. But most of all it is the story of human dignity. But I learned so much more by reading this book. I’m embarrassed to admit that aside from Pearl Harbor, Hiroshima and Nagaski, I knew nothing at all about the war in the Pacific. Seems all I ever learned about was the Germans, Hitler and the Holocaust. I know have a much fuller understanding of Japan’s role in the war. Unbroken is non-fiction at its best. 4 stars – I really like it.

It’s been a really good few weeks of reading for me. I hope it continues. How about you? Read any good books lately?

Never Enough Books...

2011-03-24T07:52:00.006-04:00

If you're anything like me, you have a long list of books "to be read". I find new titles almost everyday. I find them in all kinds of places: your blogs, at work, magazine and newspaper reviews, friends' recommendations and sometimes I have no idea where I heard of a particular book.

Colleen, a friend of mine, always seems to hear about the most intriguing books. Forever ago, she told me that she receives a daily email from her local library highlighting the Book of the Day. I was intrigued, but never remembered to look into it. Well, yesterday I somehow stumbled upon it while ~~trolling~~ doing some research online. The East Providence Public Library here in RI provides this online service. You can sign up for book recommendations in a variety of genres and even for books for teens. Some of the emails arrive daily and others are weekly. It's a fascinating service and for book lovers it's a little like getting a gift every day. You never know what little gem will show up. And so far I've been impressed (yeah, I know it's only been two days) that the titles are not the ones that are already on the best sellers list. They are books that I hadn't heard of... yet. Which is saying a lot since I work with books and my personal life is also full of books.

Anyway, I thought I'd share this little gem with all of you bookworms. If you are like me and can never have too many books on your tbr list, you might want to sign up for East Providence Public Library's eNewsletter. Happy reading!

Book Review: The Moonflower Vine by Jetta Carleton

2011-03-13T19:19:00.005-04:00

Finally! It's been a really long time since I've read a book that I truly love. A book that I am excited to recommend to my friends. After months (and I do mean months) of lamenting my dearth of good books, I've finally read a book that I'm excited to review - The Moonflower Vine by Jetta Carleton. I have no recollection of how I heard of The Moonflower Vine, but I'm so glad that I did.

The Moonflower Vine was written in 1962 and it was Carelton's first and only book. After reading the forward, written by Jane Smiley, I came to understand that like many books, The Moonflower Vine had become all but forgotten over time. Then in 2005, Smiley wrote a book called 13 Ways of Looking at the Novel, in which she discusses 100 novels (among other things), which led to the reissue of The Moonflower Vine in 2009.

The story takes place in rural Missouri in the first half of the 20th century and tells the story of Matthew and Callie Soames and their 4 daughters. It reminded me in style of To Kill a Mockingbird, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and So Big. It's a very good story, simply told. The characters are all rich and complex, yet they are simple, moral people trying to live good lives. The story could have been told in a sensationalistic way, but instead Carleton chose to tell the story in a more realistic and subtle way. It's the story of regular people, who see themselves as being essentially good, yet they all struggle with secrets and flaws. What makes it so authentic is that they know they are flawed and they wrestle with the that knowledge and the fact that it doesn't fit in with their own or society's view of them. It's a great story. I couldn't wait to see how the story would play out, yet I didn't want it to end. 5 stars - It was amazing.

Book Review: Inconceivable by Carolyn and Sean Savage

2011-03-06T16:25:00.005-05:00

By now I'm sure most of you have heard Carolyn and Sean Savage's heartbreaking story. They are the couple who where inadvertently given the wrong embryos during an IVF treatment. When faced with this horrible and horrifying news, they decided to not only continue the pregnancy, but to surrender the child to his biological parents and not fight for custody of him. It's hard for me to imagine a worse situation to be in. And if faced with a similar situation, I'm not sure I would have been as strong, gracious or giving as the Savage's.

The story was made even more poignant by the fact that due to medical considerations, this would be Carolyn Savage's last pregnancy. She would not be able to undergo another IVF treatment with her own embryos. I can only imagine her heartbreak. How difficult must it have been to carry that baby for nine months, knowing you couldn't keep him? And not because you didn't want him. You do want him. Desperately. But you choose to do what's morally right. From the beginning, Carolyn and Sean thought about the biological parents and what they would want if the roles were reversed. And they based their actions on that. Putting their own feelings aside, as much as was possible.

Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift presents an honest and sometimes raw account of how Carolyn and Sean came to the decision they did and how they got through this most emotional of pregnancies and deliveries. It is a surprisingly honest presentation of their ordeal, in that the Savage's don't try to hide or sugar coat their experience. It is all revealed - the good, the bad and the ugly - but with an astonishing amount of grace, dignity and respect. Carolyn and Sean Savage are amazing people. I was so impressed with their courage and their strong sense of morals. My heart breaks for them.

This book is definitely not for everyone. It's certainly not a book that I'm telling everyone to read. For me, I was interested in reading it because I was so impressed by their story and I wanted to know more about how they came to make this difficult decision and how they were each able to reconcile this terrible situation in their own minds. Additionally, I am interested in all things medical, but especially medical and maternal. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about this strong and compassionate couple, readers who are fascinated with medical ethics or anyone who likes to read stories that force them to question how they would behave in a similar situation. What makes it all the more fascinating, heartbreaking and incomprehensible is that it is all true. 4 stars - I really liked it.

Project 52 - Weeks 7, 8, 9

2011-02-28T07:00:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted a Project 52 update in a few weeks. Rest assured that even though I haven't been posting about it, I have been busy keeping up with all my goals and chipping away at my Project 52 list. I simply decided that since posting every week was beginning to bore me, it must really be boring the rest of you. Since many of my goals are weekly goals, I really felt as though I was saying the same thing week, after week, after week. Boring! So I decided to do one update at the end of each month, reflecting back on my progress. Hopefully, that will be less boring for all of us!

Weeks 7-9 were all pretty good weeks for me. I did a decent job of keeping up with my weekly and monthly/multi-event goals and I even crossed off one of my one-time goals! I like those the best. Crossing things off of lists gives me a real sense of accomplishment! Here's my accounting of how I did for the past 3 weeks:

Weekly Goals

3. Cook 3 times per week - I did manage to cook 3 times in Week 7 and 8. But Week 9 was my Home Alone 2 week and I did not cook at all. And I'm proud of that fact! Project 52 goal #3 be damned! Score: 6/52 weeks

10. Walk/Exercise 3 times per week - Success! Weeks 7 and 8 I actually exercised 4 times. Week 9 I just barely got my three times in. Score: 6/52 weeks

30. Pay attention to local politics - Check! I've found that I'm mostly following what's going on in education in our state. But I have forced myself to read other political articles - both local, national and international. I am definitely making a conscious effort to do it (Project 52 is calling...), but if that's what it takes to make me accomplish some of my goals - so be it! Today Geoff even forwarded a political website to me that will send me an email any time RI is mentioned in the news nationwide. All I had to do is subscribe. Now it will be even easier to keep up. This one is harder to score, but as long as I read one article a day I'm counting it as meeting my weekly quota. Score: 8/52

33. Post at least once a week - Yes, by the skin of my teeth. Score: 8/52

34. Write a weekly letter to Katie - Not only did I write to her each week, two of those letters were in care packages! One package was full of Valentine's Day surprises and the other, less exciting package, consisted of shorts and a To Do List she left behind. Gotta love those To Do Lists! Score: 5/32

36. Keep fresh flowers in the family room - Ummm, define "fresh". Week 7 and 8 were no problem. As a matter of fact, Valentine's Day fell during Week 8 and Geoff gave me the most gorgeous bouquet of 3 dozen red roses I have ever seen. They were flown in from Colombia - not sure why- but they are truly lovely and have lasted a long time. However, in Week 9 many of them are looking a little sad. Some are still in good shape, though. I really need to weed out the wilters and make a smaller bouquet of the survivors. So, I'm going to be generous here and give myself Week 9. Score: 8/52.

Monthly and Multi-Event Goals

1. Try one new non-soup recipe a month - I'm hoping to get this one in under the wire. I'm planning on making a Chicken Piccata recipe tonight. However, I've got a crazy late afternoon today and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pull this off. We'll see. Score: 2?/12 *fingers crossed*

2. Try 6 new soup recipes - I made Italian minestrone and barley soup. Geoff and I loved it. Apparently, barley makes Madeleine gag. She tried one bite and couldn't even manage to let the soup leave the spoon! I've never seen anyone put a spoonful of food in their mouth and then take it right back out. Hysterical! She could not tolerate the texture of the barley. Who knew? I, on the other hand, love barely. I guess I won't be having more any time soon. Score: 3/6

5. Invite my mother to dinner once a month - Does lunch count? Somehow the month got away from me and I never did invite her over. I feel badly about that. But, I did take her out to lunch one day, which is not something I do regularly. Again, I'm going to be generous with myself. After all, it's the spirit of the goals that is really more important than following them to the letter. At least, for me it is. Score: 2/2

14. Write book reviews for all 4 and 5 star books read in 2011 - Well, I'm halfway there. During Weeks 7-9, I read 2 books that I rated 4 stars - The Crucible by Arthur Miller and Inconceivable by Carolyn and Sean Savage. I have written a book review for The Crucible. I will be writing and posting a book review about Inconceivable soon, but it's not ready

yet. Score: 1/2

28. Try 3 swanky restaurants in Providence - 1 down, 2 to go. On Sunday Geoff, Madeleine and I went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse to celebrate my birthday. It's a beautiful restaurant with a magnificent view of the city. Our meal was delicious and it was a great way to celebrate my birthday.

32. Go to the movies once a month - Nope. Maybe next month.

37. Donate to a charity or cause once a month - Check. Geoff and I like to support our town and this month we donated to the town Boosters. Even though our girls have not been too involved in sports in high school (Katie was on the JV tennis team for two years), we feel that a strong sports program is important to the health and well-being of our town's teens. For us, it is a worthy cause. Score: 2/2

40. Schedule one Mental Health Day a month - I think having 5 days and 4 nights to myself at home definitely qualifies! Score: 2/2

One Time Goals

20. Make a day trip to Boston to explore and get my bearings - Done! I visited the area of Boston around Northeastern University with my friend Barbara. She is somewhat familiar with the area, since her son is a Freshman at Northeastern. We had a great time and I definitely feel like I have a better sense of the city as a whole and that area in particular. I hope to make more trips to Boston to explore further, but this was a good start. Score: Completed!

How about you? How are you doing on your Project 52 goals or New Year's Resolutions? I'd love to hear about your progress.

Home Alone 2

2011-02-26T12:27:00.003-05:00

Back in April of last year I wrote a post about having the whole house to myself during my girls' spring break. Well, the heavens smiled upon me again this past week during Madeleine's February vacation. Once again, Geoff and Madeleine flew off to warm and sunny Arizona and I stayed behind to enjoy some peace and quiet. Five days and four nights to myself.

And I did enjoy it, but I also came to a huge revelation. I really don't need to have the house to myself to have time to myself. My everyday life is already pretty amazing! In the past when I've had time alone, I haven't done much else except read, relax and possibly go on a few "fieldtrips" that I wouldn't have time to do otherwise. This time, I realized that I didn't feel a driving need to do those things. I couldn't figure out why at first and then it hit me. I already get to do those things on a regular basis. I usually have plenty of time to read and relax and I go on lots of excursions with my friends - or sometimes on my own. This was a huge epiphany for me. My life as a wife and mom has definitely changed a lot from the hectic days of raising babies, toddlers and young children. There are definitely stages and cycles to motherhood and I realized that I have entered a new one.

So, how did I spend my time? Well, I did go on one fieldtrip - to Boston with my friend, Barbara. Her son goes to Northeastern University and she has become familiar with the area surrounding the university. We had a great day exploring and shopping. This is something I've been wanting to do for awhile, so this was the perfect opportunity for me.

I also got together with my high school friend, Kim, who I saw for the first time in 28 years back in April when I was last Home Alone. Kim's parents still live in town and she was back for a visit during her kids' school vacation. We met for breakfast and it was so great to have a chance to visit and chat with her! I really enjoy her company and conversation and hope we can continue to see each other when she comes to town. We may even meet up in NYC sometime to explore. That would be amazing!

Other than that, I ran errands (can you believe it!?) during the day. This was when I had my revelation. Why am I running errands during my free week? Why aren't I protecting this precious time and cuddling up at home with a book and some great movies? I just didn't feel the need. So during the day I ran a few errands and in the late afternoon and evenings I enjoyed having the family room, sofa and remote control to myself. I realized that that is what I really enjoyed the most. Because those are the things I don't normally have on a regular basis. Madeleine definitely monopolizes the family room every day once she gets home from school until she goes to bed at night. That was really all I needed to feel as though having the house to myself was any different from any other day. As I said in the beginning - my everyday life is pretty amazing! I guess I just needed to be reminded of that. And in 2 1/2 short years, Madeleine will be away at college and I will have the family room to myself every. single. day. I'm pretty sure that will not be something I will enjoy. So, for now, I'm going to appreciate my epiphany and give thanks for my amazing life. I think this stage of motherhood just might be one of my favorites.

Speaking of Good Literature....

2011-02-20T20:38:00.009-05:00

In the last two weeks I have had the opportunity to see wonderful productions of two classic plays - The Crucible by Arthur Miller and A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen. I was excited to see these plays since I had studied both of them during my years as a student. How ironic, considering the fact that many schools are considering teaching less literature in favor of more "informational texts". Bah! I wonder if I would have been interested in attending these productions, if I hadn't been introduced to them in school? I think not. As a matter of fact, Madeleine, who is 16, asked if she could come with Geoff and me to see The Crucible since she had studied it earlier this year! Imagine that! The arts and cultural entertainment could be just one more causality of removing challenging literature from our schools' curriculum. What a pity.

Before seeing The Crucible I decided to try an experiment. I decided to reread it to see if familiarizing myself with the details of the story would add or detract from my enjoyment of it. I have considered doing this in the past, but always decided not to, in order to let the story wash over me - without any expectations. I was somewhat surprised to find that a fresh exposure to the play added to my enjoyment of the production immensely! The Crucible is a complex and multi-layered story and having read it ahead of time really added to my understanding of the deeper messages of the plot. Having the time to really ponder the moral questions presented by Miller added another level of appreciation to the live production.

Book review: If you've never read The Crucible or last read it in High School, I highly recommend picking it up again and revisiting it as an adult. It's a surprisingly quick read (I read it in two short sittings) and it's so much more than "that book about the Salem witch trials." It's a moral story about having strength in your convictions, about standing up for what you know is right, about personal honor and dignity and about the love between a husband and wife struggling within a flawed marriage. It's powerful and I highly recommend it. 4 stars - I really liked it.

After my positive experience with The Crucible, I decided to reread A Doll's House before seeing the play as well. I'm really glad I did, too, because the play was written in 1879 and the production I saw was set in 1959. As I was reading the play, I wondered how the director was going to pull that off since the language and story seemed so dated. The adaptation that the director and his partner created was brilliant - updated, but still very true to the original. And I would never had known that had I not reread the play. This gave me an entirely new level of appreciation for the play.

Book review: I didn't enjoy A Doll's House as much as I did The Crucible, but it is still a very accessible and easy to read classic. It's the story of a marriage that seems happy on the surface, but is actually quite the opposite. Torvald has a controlling and condescending relationship with his seemingly weak and dependent wife, Nora. Nora, however, is not the delicate flower Torvald thinks she is and is in reality working feverishly to hide a secret from Torvald. By the end of the play, Nora comes to a realization that will have repercussions for herself, her marriage and her family. The play was highly controversial when it was first produced in 1879 and it translated very well into the 1950s. It's a little less relevant today, but it still presents some truths that resonate with a modern audience. 3 stars - I liked it.

In Defense of Literature

2011-02-13T13:12:00.007-05:00

A week ago, Julia Steiny, the education writer for the Providence Journal, wrote a terrific, yet upsetting, article for the Providence Journal, about the books being assigned to HS students by their English teachers. She began the article by discussing the great literature she was assigned in HS and the fact that this challenging literature was assigned not only to broaden the students' literary skills, but also to build wisdom and "understanding of how and why different people, in different circumstances, make decisions, mistakes, sacrifices". Steiny goes on to say that "one of the great virtues of fiction is that it gives us the benefit of someone else's experience, at the remove of fiction". This is brilliant. I've never really been able to articulate what it is that draws me to fiction, but this is it. It lets me experience "at the remove of fiction" how someone might behave in various circumstances. I think this also plays into how I choose the stories I do. I choose novels based on how interesting the story is to me. At some unconscious level I choose stories about situations that somehow "speak" to me. For me, reading fiction is, on some level, educational.

What made Steiny's article upsetting was that she goes on to explain that most states (RI included) are currently adopting the new Common Core standards, which will require students to read more "informational texts" and "considerably less fiction". Additionally, she goes on to state that even now, the fiction that is being assigned to our students is of a much less challenging nature than that which I was exposed to. How sad. (And don't even get me started on what has been done to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn).

I will be the first to admit that I didn't appreciate many of the books I read in HS. For the most part, their greatness was lost on my teenage self. But I am thankful for having been afforded the opportunity of guided reading under the tutelage of some wonderful English teachers. And while I most likely did not come away with a full understanding of those great works of fiction, I most certainly did come away with a foundation of learning on which to build a deeper understanding. And I've found that now when I go back and revisit those great classics of English literature I readily recognize their greatness. And for that I credit my HS English teachers and the challenging curriculum to which I was exposed.

I have had a first hand look at the HS English curriculum in my town for the past 6 years and I have been impressed by the wide variety of both classic English and World Literature that my daughters have been assigned in their various classes. They have probably read even more than I did as a HS student. I certainly hope that this continues after RI adopts the Common Core standards. Anything less would be a real loss.

How about you? Were you required to read challenging literature in HS? If so, are you glad? If not, do you wish you had been? Have you revisited any of the required texts as an adult? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Project 52 - Week 6

2011-02-08T12:04:00.004-05:00

Week 6 had some ups and downs. I managed to accomplish all my weekly goals (cook, post, pay attention politically, write to Katie, buy flowers), with the exception of #10 - Walk/Exercise 3 times per week. In addition to some icy weather, my back condition took a serious turn for the worse and I was hardly able to walk around my house, let alone go for a real walk outside on the icy roads. The good news is that after seeing the chiropractor three times, I was able to get out and take a walk on Sunday. And I'm happy to say I'm feeling much better. So hopefully this week will be a lot better. *fingers crossed*

And I really rocked one of my weekly goals - #30, Pay attention to local politics. Education is a hot issue in RI now. About a year and a half ago the state hired a new, no nonsense Commissioner of Education - Deborah Gist. You may even have heard of her last spring when RI made the national news when the entire teaching staff of one low performing school was fired. Anyway, most regular people in RI are big fans of Gist and she has folk hero status for her unwavering efforts to improve education in RI. Of course, the teacher's unions are not big fans. And, in case you didn't know, RI politics are pretty much run by the unions. Anyway, last night Gist visited our town and gave a talk and a Q&A session at our local HS, which I attended. I am even more impressed now. And I'm sure to pay extra close attention to the issue of education now that we have a new governor and a newly appointed Board of Regents. Hopefully, Commissioner Gist will get the support she needs to continue her Herculean efforts. I have my doubts.

I also completed one of my monthly goals last week - #31 Watch one Netflix movie per month. Geoff and I watched Nowhere Boy, a British biopic of the early life of John Lennon. It was a very good movie, both enlightening and moving. If you have any interest in Lennon or the formation of The Beatles I recommend it.

And most exciting to me (since I love to cross things off of lists) is that I completed one of my one time goals - #19 Visit one new to me library in RI. This one happened by serendipity. I had placed a hold a book I needed for my book club meeting quite a while ago. And as sometimes happens, it just never came. Finally, in desperation I decided to just find out which libraries own the book and go get it. It just so happened that the closest library that had the book available was the Mount Pleasant branch of the Providence Public Library. I Googled it and since it was only 25 minutes away, I decided to make the trip. It may as well have been in a different world. As I got closer and closer to the library, the neighborhood got dicier and dicier. I began to wonder if I had made a mistake in venturing into this neighborhood. When I pulled up to the library, I was disheartened to see the worn out and dreary looking building. It made me feel sad. I wondered what I would encounter when I entered the building. The first thing I noticed as I entered the small, separate foyer was that the posters and bulletins were all in Spanish and English. That got me wondering. How many non-English speaking people actually use the library? I figured the place would be deserted and barely hanging on to life. Boy, was I ever wrong! The library consisted of one large room, separated into different areas by the placement of tables, sofas and book cases. The staff was bright and cheerful. And the place was packed!!! It was humming with activity and life. People of all ages were looking for books, using the computers, sitting at tables and quietly interacting with each other. And then it hit me. The Mount Pleasant library is a vibrant and integral part of the Mount Pleasant neighborhood. I was thrilled to witness this. The library my have been furnished with shabby and scarred furniture, the DVD collection might have been a little thin and the books were a little worse for wear, but this particular library was full of life. It was living, breathing, organic part of this community. I wish I could say the same for the small library where I work. It makes me wonder - what exactly is it that makes one library so much more alive than another? I don't have an answer, but the Mount Pleasant Library is doing something right.

*As soon as I stepped out of my car, I wished I had my camera with me. Instead, I've added some photos that I found on the I {Heart} Rhody blog.

What a Spectacle!

2011-02-05T18:05:00.007-05:00

On Thursday night, Madeleine, Sandy and I went to Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) to see The Lion King. I had really been looking forward to this show. It came to Providence several years ago and to my great dismay, I didn't have an opportunity to see it. So when I saw it on this year's lineup, I was thrilled. And the show did not disappoint.

My girls were toddlers when The Lion King movie was popular. We bought a copy of the video and like most preschoolers, Katie and Madeleine watched that movie over and over and over again. So, unlike some adults I am quite familiar with the story. And I do think that was a factor in my enjoyment of the show. Because after talking to Sandy about the story itself, I realized that having the association of my girls love for the show when they were so young, really did make the show more appealing to me.

But the storyline is really not the reason to see this show. The costumes, sets and special effects are spectacular! I can not even begin to adequately describe the splendor and creativity. The various animals are all depicted with the most amazing ingenuity. And the sheer variety of ways in which the species are represented is incredible. You really do need to see it to fully appreciate the splendor.

Check out the variety of animal costumes!

One tip. Do NOT be late. I don't want to spoil anything, but the very opening of the show gave me goosebumps. You absolutely don't want to miss it. The opening alone was worth the price of the ticket. If you have an opportunity to see The Lion King, I highly recommend it. I don't think you will be disappointed.

Sweet 16!

2011-02-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

On Friday, Madeleine (my baby) turned Sweet 16! The day that she has been talking about for months had finally arrived. To say she was excited would be a terrible understatement. The highlight of the day occurred right after school when I took her to the dreaded DMV to get her driver's permit. She passed the test with flying colors (highest score of the day, according to the test proctor)! After that we celebrated with shoe shopping (!) and dinner at Olive Garden (her choice) and then more shopping at Ulta for make up. It was an afternoon and evening made in teen girl heaven! (Geoff begged off on the shopping, but he did enjoy the dinner!)

Then on Saturday, Madeleine celebrated her birthday with her friends. For months she thought about how to have the perfect Sweet 16 birthday party. Her first choice was to have a dinner/dance at a restaurant complete with a DJ and fancy decorations. I know that big Sweet 16 parties are common in some parts of the country, but here in RI they are not. I think she got her grandiose ideas from the TV show My Super Sweet 16. Geoff and I had to quickly disavow her of any idea that we would spring for a big blowout. She was disappointed and for a few weeks we tried to plan a scaled down event that wouldn't feel too lame. But we couldn't make it work. Then Geoff hit upon a great idea. How about if we looked into renting one of the two small independent movie theaters in Providence. Madeleine liked this idea and when we called both theaters we were happy to hear that they both are available to rent for private parties. And it's affordable! We chose the funkier of the two theaters, The Cable Car Cinema, that has a small cafe in front and sofas in addition to regular theater seating.

It worked out beautifully! Madeleine was able to invite as many people as she wanted (up to 100) for the same rental price plus a small per person popcorn/soda charge.

And after the movie, we were able to use the cafe to serve cake. The party was sufficiently "cool" that Madeleine felt that it was special and all her guests were impressed to have the whole theater to themselves.

We were even able to bring our own movie. She chose Sixteen Candles, of course! It was the perfect choice! Madeleine ended up having her own toned version of My Super Sweet 16, after all.

Project 52- Week 5

2011-01-31T08:50:00.004-05:00

Last week was a pretty good one for Project 52. I met all my weekly goals. I cooked three times (#3)(garlic/lemon chicken, Italian Meatball soup and homemade macaroni and cheese), I walked three times (#10), I read several articles about local politics in the newspaper (#30), I posted at least once a week (#33) and I bought another bouquet of flowers for the family room (#36). And since Katie went back to college last weekend, I was able to add #34 - write a weekly letter to Katie. The only weekly goal I haven't tackled yet is #12 - walk to work at least once a week, weather permitting. So far the weather has not been very cooperative. I think this one will need to wait for the spring.

I also made progress on 2 of my monthly goals -(#2) try 6 new soup recipes. I made Italian meatball soup and luckily this one was a hit! I'll definitely be making it again. I also invited my mother over for dinner (#3). I included this goal because I really don't spend very much time with my mom and I feel badly about that. She retired in October and now has more free time on her hands. She was happily surprised that I invited her to dinner and we had a nice evening. It felt nice to have spent the evening with her.

Lastly, I got started on one of my one time goals. Geoff and I joined Shape Up RI (#13), a statewide exercise and weight loss challenge. My friend Margaret created a team of couples and we decided to join. There are four areas in which you can participate : weight loss, exercise, 10,000 steps per day and eat more fruits and vegetables. I decided to tackle all four. The challenge doesn't officially start until February 7th, but I've been trying to be aware of these four things now. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. And I may have to drop out of the exercise group since I'm having some back issues that seem to be here to stay. Ugh! I'll keep you posted.

How about you? How are you doing on your goals/resolutions?

Winter Wonderland

2011-01-27T11:06:00.007-05:00

Rhode Island has been having a good old fashioned New England winter this year. We've already had 6 major snowstorms, which is very unusual. Last night we got 10 more inches. Here is what I woke up to this morning.

The view from my back door

The view from my side door

The view from my front door

The view from inside my garage

It's a good thing I like winter!

Project 52 - Week 4

2011-01-24T19:30:00.000-05:00

Week 4 was not quite as successful as the previous two weeks when it came to weekly goals. I only managed to cook twice (#3) - spaghetti and meatballs and chourico and potato casserole- and walk twice (#10). Though I did try to walk two other times, even getting so far as to get dressed like Nanook of the North, head outside and walk part way down the street. Both times I had to turn back because it was just too icy. I figured if I nearly fell three times in the first 5 minutes, it probably wasn't safe. Of course, I could have done some other exercise, but since I haven't joined a gym yet (#11), my options were limited. Excuses, excuses. I know! There are still flowers in the family room (#36) and dining, (though they are looking a little sad) and I did write at least one blog post (#33). And finally, I did a bang up job on (#30) paying attention to local politics. Last week our town held a special election for a School Committee member. Not only did I vote, I went out in a sleet/ice storm to do it! And I reminded my husband to take Katie (who was still home from college) to vote in her very first election! I even attended a support party for my candidate as we waited for election results to come in - he won in a landslide!

Well, that's it for me for last week. Not great. But I am working on a couple of my monthly and one time goals for this week. And hopefully I'll get my three days of exercise and cooking in. I'll keep you posted.

Through My Daughters' Eyes

2011-01-21T20:36:00.007-05:00

I have always taken great pride in the life I have created for myself. As a mostly SAHM, I've been fortunate to have plenty of free time to explore my interests and passions. Even when my girls were toddlers and I was overwhelmed and stressed with caring for them, I still belonged to two book clubs, a woman's club and I played Bunco once a month. As my girls grew up and became more independent, I began to work part-time in a job that allowed me to further explore my interest and love of books and reading. I've taken lots of classes in all kinds of topics that interest me - from learning to play piano, knit and tap dance to classes in art history. I have a strong interest in the arts and have season subscriptions to 3 local theaters and I regularly visit museum exhibits - sometimes traveling to Boston or even NYC to see an exhibit of particular interest. In addition to all these activities, I have a wide circle of friends who I see regularly. In other words, I lead a full and interesting life. At least I think it is.

However, last week I had the wind taken out of my sails. Twice. Once by each of my daughters. And each was completely independent of the other. Ouch!

It all started on Monday when Katie and I were in the car together. While making small talk I mentioned that I had had a frustrating day running errands that all ended up being unnecessarily complicated and frustrating. Her response to me was something along the lines of "Well, don't worry about it because soon you'll have nothing better to do than run errands and you'll be happy to have something to do with your time." WHAT?! I managed to remain calm and asked her what she meant. She continued to dig ~~her own grave~~ herself into a hole by stating that when people get old they have nothing better to do than run errands and go shopping, "like grandma". Wow! Is that really what she thinks of my life? If so, I'm shocked. I did remind her of all my interests and how I've worked hard to be sure I am able to pursue them, but I'm not sure she understood. I decided to just let it go.

Then the very next day, Madeleine and I were in the kitchen cooking and tidying up. I began to mumble about how I'm constantly having to clean up after everyone else. She was sympathetic to that (she is very good that way), but then she dropped this bomb on me. "Well Mom, soon you'll probably be making messes just so you'll have something to do". WHAT?! Really! So it's not just Katie who thinks my life consists of nothing but taking care of them and the house? I'm beyond shocked!

Is this because I'm a SAHM? If I had a full time career, would they think this way? I'm not sure. I hate the idea that my girls think of my life as consisting of nothing but taking care of them and the house and running errands. I always assumed they noticed that I made the time to do things that I love, to indulge my passions and explore my interests. I assumed that they were somehow subconsciously absorbing the idea that it's OK to spend time on yourself, especially if you are a mom. I thought their view of me would include the idea that I am actively engaged in life and learning. That I value self-expression and that I think it's important not to put yourself last. It's shocking and distressing to me that they view my life as one of drudgery and boredom. How sad. I feel as though I've failed them in some way. I thought that I had done a good job modeling a life of engagement. Apparently not. And on top of that, it's a real blow to know that my daughters have a completely different view of my life than the one I thought I was presenting to them. It changes my whole perception of myself as a mother to my daughters. And that's bitter pill to swallow.

Project 52 - Week 3

2011-01-17T00:01:00.002-05:00

Week 3 and so far I'm still on track for all my weekly goals and I accomplished one more monthly goal. Not bad for Week 2!

3. Cook three times per week - 2/52 - Make that 4 times! I made beef bourguignon, hamburger, pesto chicken over spaghetti and chili (which was also a new recipe, but I already did that this month. Darn!)

10. Walk or exercise 3 times per week - 2/52 - This was a real challenge this week due to the 12 inches of snow we got on Wednesday. But, I traded by sneakers for boots and forced myself to go. And would definitely not have done that if I was participating in Project 52!

30. Pay attention to local politics - I read at least one political article every day in the Providence Journal, even though my initial inclination was to skip those articles.

33. Post at least once a week - 2/52 - Yup!

36. Keep fresh flowers in my family room - The flowers I bought the week before are still going strong, but I bought another bouquet anyway. Bonus - flowers in family room AND dining room.

37. Donate to a charity or cause once a month - 1/12- Madeleine attended a Sweet Sixteen birthday party for her friend, Camille. In lieu of gift, Camille asked her friends to donate money to the Lillian Chason Memorial Fund, in honor of a local HS girl who died in 2009 of swine flu. Contributions to the fund will support activities that had great meaning to Lillian, such as community theater, Friends Camp and drama scholarships. How could we say no? This was almost too easy.

In the Heights

2011-01-12T14:13:00.007-05:00

Last night I attended my first theater production of 2011 - In the Heights. And I must say that the bar has been set pretty high for the rest of the shows I will see this year. In the Heights won the Tony for best musical in 2008. It also won best choreography, best score and best orchestration (not really sure what that means) but I can say that I loved the songs and the choreography was out of this world. More on all that in a minute.

I didn't really know anything about this show aside from what I had read in a small article in the Providence Journal which stated that the show was about a immigrant living in the Washington Heights section of NYC who wanted to get back to the Dominican Republic. Well, that's unexpected. And I had seen a few commercials on TV that featured bits of song. Neither of these made me all that excited to see the show, but I have a season subscription so I went. And it blew me away.

As soon as I entered the theater I was impressed with the set. It showed a street corner in the neighborhood with shops at street level and apartments above. And in the background was the George Washington Bridge. It was an elaborate and very creative set.

The music was upbeat and exciting and the songs were all vibrant and most were energetic. Many of the songs had a rap like beat and phrasing, but were not set to what I would call rap music. It was very cleverly done as a way to keep the flavor of the Hispanic, urban neighborhood. The set and the music reminded me a lot of Rent in style and look.

There were many dance numbers in which the stage was filled with the entire cast. These weren't your traditional dance routines where everyone on stage is doing the same thing at the same time and basically remaining in their own space throughout the dance. The dancers were all moving all over the stage, exiting at times and coming back from other entrances. And all the dancers were moving in and out of each other and all over the stage. It's hard to describe, but it was as though there were many dances going on at once that formed a cohesive whole. I loved it! It was very exciting to watch.

And the story is so much more than one young man's desire to go back to the land of his family. It's so much more complex than that. It's multi-layered and I found myself identifying with it on so many levels. Definitely not something I was expecting from the little I knew about the show.

****spoiler alert****

I'm going to talk about the plot elements in a more specific way now, so if you think you are going to see the show and don't want to be spoiled, you should probably stop reading now because I'm definitely going to reveal some plot points.

As I said, there are so many layers to the story and I could relate on a few different levels. One of the subplots of the story is that Nina has returned from her freshman year at Stanford and hasn't told anyone yet that she dropped out. When her parents find out they are shocked, but they comfort Nina and tell her that she can always rely on them and that she can always come home when she is struggling. Of course this had me in tears as I immediately related it to my own daughter being away at college and how I always want her to know that if she needs it, we will always provide her with a soft place to land.

I could relate to Nina on another level as well. Nina expresses how badly she feels that she was not successful at Stanford, that she was the hope of her whole neighborhood, that everyone was expecting her to be a success and change the world. And that she was not up to the task. She eloquently expresses the pressure she feels as the first person in her family to go to college and what a huge responsibility that is for her. Like Nina, I was the first person in my family to go to college and while I didn't grow up in an impoverished neighborhood where everyone was looking to me to succeed, I did grow up with limited means in a affluent town and I knew that an education was my ticket to a better life. I was definitely too naive at the time to realize what it meant to be the first person in my family to go to college, but in retrospect I can appreciate what that means - for myself and for my family. I'm grateful I wasn't aware of it at the time, but listening to Nina last night it made me realize what it meant to my family that I was going off to college - far from home.

And lastly, I related most emotionally to the special role that Abuela Claudia filled in the lives of the people in the neighborhood. She may not have been everyone's grandmother, but she was the support system for all of them. She was the one who saved mementos of everyone's successes. And she was the one who provided the quiet, wise and nurturing support that they all needed. We all know people like this. The one person who is always in our corner. Quietly cheering us on as we reach for our goals. Or offering gentle words of wisdom when we seem lost and unsure. Even when they are disappointed in us, they have a way of letting us know that without being harsh or unkind. My own grandparents were just this type influence in my life. And Abuela Claudia's relationship with Nina and the other young people in her neighborhood reminded me of my own grandparents's loving support and comforting presence in my life. How does one become such a person? Because that's the person I want to be. Does it only happen with age? Because it does seem like these people are usually older. I hope that maybe with age I will become this type of person for my own children or grandchildren - and others in my life. I'm not sure how that happens, but I sure hope it happens to me.

**** OK, it's safe to read again****

If In the Heights comes to a theater near you and you are thinking about going, I highly recommend it. As a matter of fact, I'd really like to see it again, just so I can process it more. There's a lot going on and a lot to it and I'm sure I would get even more out of it a second time. It's that good!

Triumph over Technology

2011-01-11T15:44:00.012-05:00

As most of you probably know by now, I am not the most technologically savvy person on the planet. Heck, I didn't even start using email until 2001! And now my kids inform me that email is for dinosaurs. It's all about Facebook chatting and text messaging now. Figures! Anyway, I've had a couple of a real technological triumphs recently and I'm beginning to feel empowered!

My first victory occurred right before Christmas when I successfully downloaded my library system's Overdrive software to my computer so that I can load eBooks onto an iPod! I was able to follow the instructions provided by the library's instructional brochure. No big deal, right? Well, this brochure included terms such as: "conversion software", "downloading the installation file" and the dreaded "the downloading process itself is a little different on every computer". What??? How the heck am I supposed to do it, if the instructions may not be valid for my computer? But, I took a deep breath and forged ahead. And it worked!!! This is HUGE! I was then able to download a book without any problems! The only problem is that it put the book in my iTunes account (which I was not expecting). I want to listen on my daughter's iPod and when I tried to put the book on her iPod I got all kinds of scary messages about losing iTunes playlists and overwriting data - or some such scary language. So I gave up in defeat. So close! I may have won one battle, but I've yet to conquer the war. I'm working on it. I think my next step is to buy myself an iPod and hope my computer will recognize it (since my iTunes is already synced -am I using the right vocabulary here?- to an iPod Shuffle, which I don't want to use for listening to books). Why does this all have to be so complicated? Or is it just complicated to me? Don't answer that!

My next big victory was Sunday night. I was preparing for a Monday morning trip to Boston to view the new Art of the Americas wing at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts (MFA) with my friend Kristen. Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile will remember I do not have good luck when it comes to driving in Boston. Remember my GPS fiasco and my impression of a rat in a maze. Not pretty, right? Well since then, I have managed to use the GPS a few times with rousing success. I decided to throw caution to the wind and use it yesterday as I once more entered the maze that is Boston in search of ~~cheese~~ the MFA (of course I still had two different sets of written directions as a back up. And for the record, the GPS was sending me yet another way. Oy vey!). But (there's always a "but" isn't there?), my GPS is from 2008 and has not been updated. I figured that if I'm going to use it in a city as confusing and possibly as changeable as Boston, I should update the maps. Good luck with that! This is something I had tried to do one time before when the GPS kindly informed me that it was time to update. It even helpfully provided me with a web address. The problem was it asked for all kinds of information that I didn't have - like what model GPS I have and some special cord to connect my GPS to my computer. What? Can't this be done remotely? After spending nearly an hour trying to navigate the web page, I gave up. But not this time! I still couldn't find the manual that would tell what model I have, but I did find the fancy cord (that's a triumph in and of itself). And when I connected the GPS and computer with the magical cord, low and behold, the computer could tell what model I had. As I continued I got all kinds of information about downloading software and attaching this and that to the other and after sweating it out for another hour (or possible more) it worked!!! And I felt empowered!

The biggest test though was yesterday when I decided to put my trust in a machine and let it guide me to the MFA. I decided to go against my better judgement and blindly follow it's instructions (even though deep in my heart I know I'm smarter than a mere machine). And guess what? It got me there. And even when I made a mistake on the ride home, it "recalculated" and managed to get me right to my door. Maybe I'm not giving that machine enough credit!

And by the way, for anyone who might live close to Boston, the new Art of the Americas wing is fabulous. It's very unique as far as art installations go and I loved it. I saw some gorgeous paintings in some very unique galleries. I recommend taking one of the hour long tours or using the audio guide. You won't be disappointed.

Project 52 - Week 2

2011-01-10T16:01:00.009-05:00

Like most people who make New Year's Resolutions, I am off to a great start on meeting my Project 52 goals! Here's how I did last week:

1. Try one new non-soup recipe a month - 1/12 - I made German Schnitzel for my husband's birthday. It was delicious and I will definitely make it again.

2. Try 6 new soup recipes - 1/6 - One down, 5 to go. I made hamburger soup. I liked it, but the rest of the family was not all that enthusiastic about it. Too bad.

3. Cook 3 times per week - 1/52 -Done! Major accomplishment. I actually cooked 4 times this week! Can I roll over the fourth one to next week??? This is probably going to be one of the harder goals to complete week after week.

10. Walk or exercise 3 times a week - Oh yea! I walked three mornings last week with my neighbor. This one is going to be a challenge as well. I'm already behind this week.

31. Watch one Netflix movie per month - 1/12 - Another real challenge. Last week it just happened to work out that I finally finished watching the final season of The Tudors. Who knows when I'll find time to watch another full length movie or entire disc of TV episodes.

32. Go to the movies at least once a month - 1/12 - Another difficult goal for me, but Madeleine and I did go see The Fighter this past Saturday. I really enjoyed it. If you are interested, I highly recommend it.

33. Post at least once a week - 1/52 - So far, so good!

36. Keep fresh flowers in my family room - Check! I have to admit that this was a cheap victory. When I was trying to think of goals for Project 52, I noticed the flowers I had bought on my weekly grocery shopping trip and thought that it would be nice to have them there all the time. So really I had already completed this goal for last week before I wrote the post. Let's see if I can keep it up.

38. Just say "no" at work - I had something very specific in mind when I wrote this goal. And even though I haven't had an opportunity to meet that goal, I did have a chance to say a minor " no" and I did it ! And it's thanks to Project 52!! If I hadn't put this on my list of goals, it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to say no in this case. So I'm counting this as a minor victory in the bigger war.

40. Schedule one Mental Health Day (MHD) per month - 1/12 - Mission accomplished! I had originally scheduled a MHD for tomorrow, but then something came up that I couldn't work around. The next available day wouldn't have been till Friday. And I REALLY needed a MHD (which is why I put it on the list. Again, kind of cheap, I know.) Then everything fell into place so that Sunday could work as a MHD. Geoff and Katie are out of town and Madeleine is such a quiet and unobtrusive presence, that I knew I could have a peaceful and relaxing day even if she was home. And it worked and it was wonderful and I feel so much better today! Yay!

Not bad for Week 1. But it's early days yet. Let's hope I can keep the momentum going.

Project 52

2011-01-06T11:00:00.018-05:00

Last year I followed along in fascination as Karen of A Peek at Karen's World tackled 65 goals in 365 days in her Face it Friday Challenge. I was amazed that Karen was able to come up with 65 tangible and very specific goals that she wanted to meet and was awed as I watched her accomplish them week after week. This year she and her cohort Jennee have switched things up a bit and they have now started Project 52, in which they will attempt to accomplish 52 goals over the course of the year. And to keep them accountable they will report their progress each and every Monday. To top it off, they are inviting other bloggers to join them. You can read more about Project 52 at A Peek at Karen's World, but here's the gist of it in Karen's words:

" You don't have to do 52 things. You can do as many or as few as you want. It's entirely up to you. The point is just to do something. To wake up next January 1st knowing that you finished something you set out to do. That's what it's all about."

I'm not one to make resolutions, but this idea of making a list of goals and actively working at them intrigues me. This is just the kind of challenge that a Type A girl like me thrives on. But I wasn't sure I would be able to do it. At first I thought it would be impossible to come up with anywhere near 52 things I want to accomplish. But then I realized that I do have a list of things in my head that I want to do "someday". And another list of things I should do, but never get around to. Project 52 is just the thing to make those things a reality. I've been wracking my brain for two days now to come up with a list. And so far I have 36 items. This may not be the final list, however. I will not remove any items from the list, but I just might add some as I think of them. But I want to get started as soon as possible, so here's my list of goals for Project 52.

1. Try one new non-soup recipe a month
2. Try 6 new soup recipes
3. Cook 3 times per week
4. Buy a Dutch oven
5. Invite my mother to dinner once a month
6. Host 4 Sunday dinners for extended family
7. Take a yoga class
8. Take a zumba class (added 1/7/11)
9. Take a Pilates class (added 1/7/11)
10. Walk or exercise 3 times per week
11. Join a gym
12. Walk to work at least once a week - in nice weather

13. Join and complete Shape Up RI (added 1/7/11)

14. Write book reviews for all 4 and 5 star books read in 2011 (modified 1/8/11)
15. Read one Shakespeare play
16. Read one Jane Austen novel
17. Read one non-fiction book by Alison Weir from my tbr list
18. Read one book on my tbr list that has been on the list for at least 3 years
19. Visit one new to me library in RI
20. Make a day trip to Boston just to explore and get my bearings
21. See a Broadway show in NYC
22. Ride the subway in NYC
23. Go away for a long weekend with my husband
24. Go on a relaxation and rejuvenation retreat - alone
25. Spend a weekend in Portsmouth, NH with a friend
26. Explore the shops on Hope St. in Providence
27. Go to the beach at least once this summer
28. Try 3 swanky restaurants in the Providence area
29. Visit Linden Place in Bristol, RI
30. Pay attention to local politics
31. Watch one Netflix movie per month

32. Go to the movies once a month

33. Post at least once a week

34. Write a weekly letter to my daughter who is away at college

35. Buy a scanner for my computer

36. Keep fresh flowers in family room

37. Donate to a charity or cause once a month

38. Just say "no" at work

39. Stabilize my kitchen shelves with new supports

40. Schedule one Mental Health Day per month (added 1/7/11)

If anyone else wants to join in, there is a linky posted at Karen's Blog. Think about it. I really think this could be fun! And I'll be sure to post here every week and let you know how I'm doing. Wish me luck!

Christmas Recap

2011-01-04T19:00:00.008-05:00

I know I'm about a week or so late on this, but I'm just now finding the time to sit down and post about our Christmas. As most of you probably know, Katie has been home from college since December 18th. And as most of you probably don't know, I was a little hesitant about this visit. Katie has been home twice since going off to college in late August. Once for a long weekend in October, which was a fabulous and delightful time. And then again for Thanksgiving, which was a bit more a challenge. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this break and I was a little nervous since it's 5 weeks long! I'm beyond thrilled to report that everything is going extremely well. Everyone is getting along wonderfully and it feels so natural to have her back home. I sure hope I'm not going to have to go through the whole "letting go" process again come January 23rd. Someone with more experience in this department, please tell me I won't. Please?

Anyway, our Christmas celebrations consisted of some old and some new traditions this year. The day after Katie got home from college, she, Madeleine and I attended a Christmas Tea at a charming gift shop/cafe in nearby Massachusetts. Tickles is one of Katie's favorite stores and they have a sweet little restaurant which is the perfect spot for a ladies lunch. This is the first year that they've done a Christmas tea and it was such a wonderful afternoon. The three of us agreed that this event is something we would like to add to our Christmas traditions. It was a wonderful mother/daughter experience.

Decorating the Christmas tree has always been a fairly stressful tradition in our family. It always turns out to be more The Simpsons than Norman Rockwell, but surprisingly this year it was pure family bliss! We decorated the tree the night Katie came home from college and I was holding my breath the whole time. There was no drama and everyone was engaged and happy! Now that's a tradition I'd like to see continue!

Every year for the past 10 years I have spent at least one day volunteering for a wonderful organization here in RI - Adopt-a-Family (AAF). AAF provides a full Christmas for needy families in one impoverished city in RI. This year they provided Christmas presents for over 2000 children in over 1100 families. That's a lot of children. Sandy, of It's a Jungle Out There, is on the board of AAF and has been the heart of the organization for over 20 years. It's through her that I got involved. I have adopted a child for each of the last ten years and also volunteered my time during "Delivery Week". I am always overwhelmed each year by the sheer volume of gifts donated and the selfless generosity of the donors. I didn't get many photos this year, but these are from the 2009 Delivery Week.

My favorite Christmas tradition is spending Christmas Eve with my Dad, Sandy and my brother Paul and his family at my Dad's house. This tradition started 32 years ago when my Grandmother and Grandfather hosted their 4 sons and their families at their home on Christmas Eve. I always loved Christmas Eve at Grandma's surrounded by wonderful food, my aunts, uncles and my cousins - some of whom I saw only on this day. It was magical then and it's still magical now. Eventually, Grandma was no longer able to host and my Dad and Sandy took over the duties. And several years later, as my generation grew up and got married and started having children of our own, it just got too complicated to fit the event into everyone's schedule. Finally, after my grandmother died in 1995, it was decided that each of her 4 sons would host his own Christmas Eve celebration for his family. It's still a magical evening and I know my Grandmother would be pleased to know that the tradition she started in 1978 is still an important part of our family's history.

Ever since we moved back to RI in 2001, Christmas Day Brunch has been held at Geoff's brother's house. And then Christmas Day and dinner is back here at our house. This year we had a large group - 18 people - family and our dear friends The Neaves, who have spent Christmas with us for the last 7 years.

The 2010 Christmas Season was truly one of our best! Every year I get a little bah humbuggy about the stress of Christmas, and I need to remind myself that for the past 3 years Christmas has actually been very peaceful and practically stress free. As a matter of fact, when I turned my 2010 calendar from October to November I found a note I had written to myself at the very beginning of the year. It said, "Pam, remember that the holidays were actually very nice and not all that stressful last year." I actually didn't remember writing that and reading it did help to alleviate the holiday humbugs. I've written that same note in this year's calendar. I wonder if I will need the reminder, or if I will remember the good will I felt during the holiday season this year. It will be interesting to see on November 1, 2011.

Best Books of 2010

2010-12-31T16:47:00.007-05:00

The end of the year seems to be a popular time for "Best of" Lists. I couldn't miss the opportunity to make my own Best List. Of course mine is going to be all about books. Of the 97 books I've read in 2010, 26 of them received a 4 or 5 star rating. Looking back over those, 6 rose to the top as my choice for Best Books Read in 2010. Since not all of these books were published in 2010, this is not technically a Best Books of 2010 list, but a Best Books Read in 2010 list.

Pam's Best Books Read in 2010

Lord of the Flies by William Golding - The only book I read in 2010 to receive a perfect score of 5 Stars. If you haven't read this one since High School or College, you really need to revisit it. It is fabulous.

Room by Emma Donoghue -This book appears on lots of Best of 2010 lists. And for once, I agree!

The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier's Education by Craig M. Mullaney - The 2011 Reading Across RI selection. I expected to dislike this book and absolutely LOVED it! Not at all what you would expect based on the title. The best book you haven't heard of.

The Red Thread by Ann Hood - Amazing book by a local author and the subject of our best book club meeting ever!

The Leisure Seeker by Michael Zadoorian - The book has a wickedly funny narrator. It deals with a serious topic in a lighthearted and engaging way. Another terrific book you probably haven't heard of.

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - This is the second memoir by the talented Walls, author of The Glass Castle. This time her subject is her indomitable maternal grandmother, Lily.

2010 was a pretty good book year for me. While I managed to read 10 more books in 2010 than I did in 2009 and I rated twice as many of them 4 or 5 stars, I didn't really read any books that WOWed me. 2009 was a better year for books that blew me away. How about you? What are your top books of 2010? I'd love to hear from you. After all 2011 is just around the corner and I can always use some recommendations.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T13:53:00.006-05:00

May your Christmas be Merry and Bright!

Great Reads

2010-12-11T10:32:00.006-05:00

This post comes courtesy of Sue at Book by Book who posted about Book Pages Top 40 Books of 2010 and Amazon's Best Books of 2010. Of course, I had to check out those lists and was pleased to see that while I have read only a handful of the books on the two lists, I was familiar with the vast majority of them - some of which sit on my tbr list and some of which I had decided not to read. Reading Sue's post and looking over those lists made me realize that I have strong feelings about some of those books, which I have yet to share here. So thanks to Sue for inspiring me to write this post of mini book reviews.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot - This is a fascinating look at the true story of Henrietta Lacks who died of cervical cancer in the 1950s. Her cancer cells became the basis for numerous medical advances and treatments and they are still being used all over the world in research today. The story is complicated by the fact that Henrietta was a poor black woman from the south whose family didn't know for two decades about the amazing advances made to medical science from the study of their wife and mother's strangely prolific cancer cells. I chose this book for the December Book Club that I run at the library. It was the best attended meeting and most hotly discussed book in the nearly 4 years I have been leading that group. This book has so many layers and is open to so many different points of view that no one is able to come away from it without giving serious thought to medical research and the advancement of medical knowledge. And the best part, is that Skloot writes this like a work of fiction. It is accessible to all readers, not just those with an interest or background in the medical field. 3/5 stars.

I'd Know You Anywhere by Laura Lippman - Great psychological suspense story about Eliza, a woman in her mid-thirties who was abducted and held hostage for 6 weeks by a serial a killer when she was 16 years old. The killer, now on death row and soon to be executed, contacts Eliza and asks to see her. Even though Eliza has managed to move on with her life in a healthy and positive way, she feels compelled to talk to him. Are the risks involved worth the benefit she hopes to gain? 4/5 stars.

The Hand that First Held Mine by Maggie O'Farrell- I am almost finished reading this intriguing story and can not wait to see how it all plays out. In alternating chapters, O'Farrell tells the separate stories of two women living in London during two different time periods - right after WWII and current day. According to the book jacket, at some point the women's story will collide and the anticipation of that is very compelling. What I'm loving about this book is that each story is unique and fascinating in it's own right and as O'Farrell switches from one to the other I find myself reluctant to let go of one story, but then excited to read more of the other. I can not wait to find out how the two stories intersect. So far I have had only one hint and the anticipation is killing me. I anticipate giving this one 4/5 stars. Though it could go either way and end up being 3/5 or even 5/5. It all depends on how the stories are resolved and how the "collision" plays out. I'll let you know.

How about you? Have you read or heard of any of these books? Are any already on your tbr list? Do you normally consult these types of lists to find new books to read?

The Best Book Club Meeting Ever!

2010-11-22T20:11:00.006-05:00

Way back in August I mentioned that I had attended an author talk and book signing by Ann Hood, author of The Red Thread. At that time, Ann mentioned in passing that she has been to a member of the audience's home to attend her book club meeting. After the meeting, my friend Colleen and I approached Ann and (nervously) asked her if she would be willing to come to our book club to discuss her book. And she said yes! Well, that meeting finally happened last Thursday and I am happy to report that it surpassed our wildest expectations.

Ann arrived at the restaurant a few minutes after the rest of us and immediately put us all at ease by breezing in and saying loudly and cheerfully "Hello Book Club!". At that very moment, I knew this was going to be the best book club meeting ever. I had been a little worried that we would all be tongue tied and star struck and the meeting would be stilted and awkward. It was anything but. Ann has obviously had plenty of experience with this type of thing and quite smoothly took the lead and set the tone for what turned out to be a very relaxing and informative evening.

She enthusiastically and thoughtfully answered all our questions about writing, becoming an author, her writing process and the book itself. No topic seemed to be off limits. And even though I'm sure she has answered these same questions thousands of times before in all of her various appearances, she never seemed bored by the questions or gave an answer that seemed "rehearsed". It was amazing.

The best part was learning about how she constructed The Red Thread and all the elements that went into the character and plot development. Fascinating. I came away with a much deeper understanding of the story itself. I wonder how much more I would get from all the books I read if I could only pick the author's brain over pasta and wine.

I can't say enough about what a wonderful and gracious woman Ann is. I still can't get over the fact that this best-selling, famous author, who has a very busy life would take the time to come to our book club and talk to us for over 3 1/2 hours. She lingered over dinner and never gave us the impression that she needed to leave or would only be willing to stay for a limited time. I am still shocked by her generosity, openness and kind spirit. I feel very lucky to have been able to spend time with her.

In all my gushing, let's not forget the book itself. The Red Thread is a terrific book about 6 couples who decide, for a variety of reasons, to adopt little girls from China. It is also the story of Maya, who owns the The Red Thread Adoption Agency, and has her own very personal reasons for being in this business. The story follows each couple from their orientation at the adoption agency to the day they pick up their long awaited daughters in China. Each of the characters is very well developed and each one is flawed in their own ways. What I was most impressed with was that I could see myself in or identify with each and every one of them. That really impressed me. But, I think the thing I liked most about The Red Thread is that Ann Hood not only tells the stories of the adoptive families, she also presents us with the stories of the families that give up their daughters for adoption. And, like the American couples, each one does so for a variety of reasons. It was a delightful surprise when I came to the story of the first Chinese mother. I was not expecting that and I appeciated seeing their stories as well as the stories of the adoptive mothers. Doing this added a richness and fullness to the story which made the "adoption story" fresh and new. I would give The Red Thread 4 stars - I really liked it!

I can't say enough about The Red Thread and especially about Ann Hood herself. Many of the members of our book club were buzzing about it even the next day. It was an experience I will never forget and one for which I am grateful. I'm sure this will go down as our best book club meeting ever.

Chef Madeleine

2010-11-17T14:16:00.006-05:00

With all the recent excitement about Katie's achievements in her senior year of high school, her graduation and the drama of her going off to college, my younger daughter Madeleine has been sadly missing from Pam's Perspective. Well, today I'm going to remedy that.

Madeleine, a HS sophomore, is a genuinely talented and brilliant young lady. Like her sister, she is involved in a lot of clubs - and has recently added two more to her ever-growing list. One of the clubs she is involved in is French Club. Last week was French week at the HS and Madeleine used that opportunity to put her love of baking to good use. First, she baked a lovely walnut cake to share with her class. Each student was asked to bring in a food item from a different region of France. Walnut cake is from Aquitaine. She did a great job and aside from the last minute realization that she needed walnut oil, it all went off without a hitch. And luckily, we were able to get some walnut oil at a small local market. Phew! Disaster averted.

Later that week, was the big culminating event of French Week - the live cooking demonstration on the school's morning news show, The Sunrise Show, which is broadcast into all the morning classes. For the past several years, Chef Bob, the owner of a local French restaurant and father of two HS students, has hosted this 8 minute segment. Unfortunately, Chef Bob's girls have all graduated and the French Club was in desperate need of a new French Chef. And who do you think volunteered for this position? Yup! Madeleine. She decided that she would prepare croissant for her segment.

Oh my! If you've been following my blog for a while, you can imagine the terror this inspired in me. Me, the woman who hates to cook. The woman who pondered Me? A French Chef, after seeing Julie and Julia with her husband and deciding (quite illogically) to go out and immediately buy Julia Child's cookbook thinking she and her hubby would bond over cooking Julia's recipes. And who upon opening said cookbook and actually reading one of those recipes, promptly closed it and ordered take out! Yeah, that woman's daughter just volunteered to bake a complicated French pastry during an 8 MINUTE segment on ~~national~~ school TV.

Thank goodness Madeleine is incredibly independent and never requires any help from us when it comes to her school projects. She worked incredibly hard on this project. She spent the better part of a week gathering all the "props" she would need, making dough and croissants and preparing her segment. She presented it much like you would see a cooking segment on The Today Show. She had all the ingredients pre-measured and mixed them together on air. Then she whipped out a bowl of dough,which had already risen the requisite 4 hours, she then rolled it out, showed some pre-cut and the finished project. It was all very well done. We even got her a chef's coat and hat to wear (at the last minute she was too embarrassed to wear the hat). We were so impressed with how seriously she took this assignment and what a good job she did. The experience even gave her the idea that maybe she will do her senior project around some aspect of baking! In typical Madeleine fashion, she is always thinking ahead!

She that she does get from me! As a matter of fact, I just had a great idea about what I can do with that Julia Child Cookbook. I can wrap it up and give it to my little French Chef for Christmas. See what I meant about thinking ahead?

Pam and Margaret's Rejuvenation Retreat

2010-11-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Recently I blogged about how overwhelmed I had been feeling. As far back as the summer I had thought seriously about renting a cottage on a beach somewhere local and just spending the time by myself resting, reading and regrouping. This idea never did go very far because after doing a little research I learned that renting a beach cottage is expensive, even if I waited until September.

Then salvation came on Labor Day weekend when Sandy happened to mention that she and Dad had a time share week that was due to expire at the end of October and that they would not be able to use it. She then offered it to anyone who might want it. I didn't hesitate to take her up on her incredibly kind and generous offer.

And that led to what I think of as Pam and Margaret's Rejuvenation Retreat (a sort of sedate and middle-aged version of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure).

Margaret is a dear, dear friend of mine who I have known since Katie and her twin boys were in kindergarten. She also has a daughter who is the same age at Madeleine. Our kids have grown up together and our families are close. But it's not just our kids who have grown up together. Margaret and I have grown as parents, wives and women together. We joke about spending our advanced old age in the same nursing home. Anyway, I decided to invite Margaret to join me on my "retreat" since she is experiencing many of the same adjustments as she navigates her way through having her oldest children leave for college. Margaret and I have done a little traveling in the past and we like the same things - books, art, museums, history (wild and crazy, I know). It seemed like the perfect fit. I would get my time away from life to regroup AND I would be able to do it with a friend who "gets" it.

Sandy helped me find and book a room at Vacation Villages in Hancock, MA in the Berkshire Mountains.

This was the perfect destination since I have been wanting to go to the Berkshires for years but never managed to get there. The main draw for me was the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, MA.

I love Norman Rockwell and the museum did not disappoint. We got to see many of Rockwell's oil paintings, including one of my favorites - Freedom from Want - and ALL of his Saturday Evening Post covers. It was fabulous.

Freedom from Want

Image from Google

We also got to tour his studio, which was moved onto the site of the museum after his death.

After touring the museum we explored the tiny town of Stockbridge and had lunch at the famous Red Lion Inn.

Of course, I found the Stockbridge Library!

Overall the town itself was disappointing - not much there beside the Inn. But it was cool to see the site immortalized in Rockwell's famous painting - Main St, Stockbridge.

Main St., Stockbridge (detail)

Image from Google

Before leaving for our Retreat, I did a little research and found out that aside from Stockbridge and the Norman Rockwell Museum, there are quite a few other interesting things to see and do in the Berkshires. Margaret and I took a tour of Edith Wharton's Lenox, MA estate - The Mount.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I knew little or nothing about Wharton and what I learned on the tour intrigued me enough that I borrowed a Young Adult biography of her from the library and read it when I got home. Edith was a fascinating woman who led a rich and interesting life. If you are at all interested, the book is The Brave Escape of Edith Wharton by Wooldridge. The visit has also inspired me to add at least one of her books to my tbr list. I think I'll start with The Age of Innocence, for which she won the Pulitzer (the first woman to be awarded that prize).

On a second trip into Lenox on a rainy day, we discovered the Lenox public library (big surprise, right?).

Unlike the Stockbridge Library, the Lenox library was open and Margaret and I decided to look around. It was unbelievably beautiful inside and I could just picture myself spending hours and hours sitting in this room reading. *sigh*

Wharton is not the only famous author to call the Berkshires home. Herman Melville also lived there at Arrowhead in Pittsfield, MA.

It was at Arrowhead that he wrote Moby Dick. We did try to visit Arrowhead, but when we arrived the door was answered by a tiny old lady who said that the museum was closed and the next tour would be the following day at 2:00 pm. Margaret and I decided to take a few pictures and forgo the tour, since the house itself was not all that impressive and looked slightly neglected. We did learn that Melville and Henry James would often visit and have long conversations in this barn that sits behind the house.

Margaret has a strong interest in yoga and meditation and she wanted to pay a visit to Kripalu, a yoga retreat in Lenox. Kripalu is situated on a hill and the setting is appropriately serene and idyllic.

When we went into the main building to explore, we were both surprised to find that the atmosphere inside was not particularly silent, hushed or reverent. There were lots of women milling around in yoga gear talking and laughing. There was also a large white board posted on the wall that showed each day's yoga offerings in addition to classes specific to the various workshops being offered that week. Margaret knows two women who have spent time at Kripalu. One comes every year for a weekend retreat, all by herself. The other has come once for a week long retreat. I must admit it was intriguing to me. I have taken a handful of yoga classes in the past, but have never become an aficionado. I am, however, interested in exploring this as a potential source of exercise. Who knows, maybe a Kripalu retreat is in my future.

On the advice of another friend and Williams alumna, Margaret and I visited Williamstown, MA and the picturesque Williams College campus. Both the town and the college are the epitome of old New England. Margaret and I had a wonderful time exploring the tiny town of Williamstown and touring the campus itself. I couldn't stop taking pictures. Each time I turned around there was yet another gorgeous view.

Margaret could only be away from home until Thursday, but since we had the time share for a full week, I decided to stay on and enjoy some solititude. I simply didn't feel ready to step back into my life after spending several days sightseeing and exploring. I felt as though I really could benefit from time to just "be". To think and reflect. I actually thought it would be good for me to stay until I felt bored and lonely. It didn't take long. On Thursday, I drove to the top of Mount Greylock in Lanesborough, MA. It was a 8.5 mile drive on a twisting road with gorgeous views and nary another car in sight. It was a wonderful opportunity to focus on my feelings and evaluate them.

When I arrived at the top, I sat on a stone wall overlooking the valley below and just let the natural splendor wash over me. It was a very emotional experience. As I sat there I let all the pent up emotions bubble to the surface without trying to control or contain them. I sat there a long time. And when I left, I felt better. I really did. It was weird. I've never experienced anything like that before.

I spent the rest of that day in the room reading, relaxing and thinking. And the next day, I knew I was ready to go home and step back into my life. I guess sometimes we just need the world to stop so that we can catch our breaths and evaluate our emotional responses. At times, that is easier done when we can remove ourselves from the demands of everyday life. I know that I benefited greatly from Pam and Margaret's Rejuvenation Retreat. I feel so fortunate to have had that opportunity. And I am grateful to Sandy and Dad for affording me it to me and to Geoff and Madeleine for encouraging me to take it and to stay until I felt completely ready to come home. I am so lucky.

Cliffs Notes Blog Post

2010-11-11T10:13:00.010-05:00

For the last several days I've had several ideas for blog posts swirling around in my head. Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to get any of them to crystallize into a full blog post. So today I'm writing the Cliffs Notes version of several blog posts:

Books: I have read a couple of really good books recently, but since I didn't get a review written in a timely fashion, I can no longer remember enough details about them to write a full a review. So here's what I remember:

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - excellent book by the author of The Glass Castle. This time she tells the story of her maternal grandmother (Lily?) who was without a doubt a woman ahead of her time. Lily admired Scarlett O'Hara because "[s]he was tough, she was sassy, she knew what she wanted, and she never let anything or anyone get in her way." The same could be said of Lily herself. 'Nough said! 4 stars.

Room by Emma Donaghue - this is the first book in recent memory that I couldn't wait to get back to every time I had to put it down. Room tells the story of a 29 year old unnamed woman who is kidnapped at age 22 and kept hostage in a hidden room. In time she gives birth to a little boy, Jack, who has only a rudimentary knowledge of the world "Outside". The story is told from 5 year old Jack's perspective and it is absolutely fascinating. 4 stars.

Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda - Secret Daughter tells the story of Kavita a poor Indian woman who secretly gives up her baby daughter for adoption to avoid its death. At the same time Somer, an American woman and her Indian husband decide to adopt a child from India after learning the devastating news that Somer is infertile. Gowda deftly intertwines the stories of Kavita, Somer and the child that binds them together while presenting the story from the perspective of all three women. 4 stars.

Theater - I have seen two very good plays in the month of November:

Oklahoma! - I had never seen this play or movie before, so while I was expecting it to be old-fashioned and corny, I was not expecting it to be somewhat racy and to deal with some very serious issues. What a suprise!

Absurd Person Singular - This play really demonstrated to me in a very overt way that different people can have very different reactions to the same play - especially if the play is a "dark comedy". Geoff and I attended this play with friends and while I focused more on the comedy and found the play to be hilarious, my friend couldn't look past the very serious and dark events happening on stage and didn't see the humor in the story. When we shared our views with each other on the ride home, we both wondered why we didn't see the other side. It occurred to me that this is the beauty and power of live theater. It can evoke such emotional and divergent responses in the audience. Fascinating!

Politics: The more you know, the more frustrated you become. I have never been an overly political person, but this mid-term election cycle I decided to pay more attention and educate myself on the races - local, state and federal. I even attended a deadly boring Town Council meeting earlier this week. And now I'm frustrated, annoyed and riled up. I have the absolute wrong personality for this. I get way too emotional and have far too little patience for the nonsense. Not to mention that the president and one member of our Town Council were at times extremely rude to residents who got up to speak at the meeting. It made me furious. I liked it better when I was uninformed and blissfully ignornant! I'm not sure I can go back to putting my head in the sand, but I wish I had never taken in out.

Aging: You know you are old when sleeping in on a weekday holiday means you don't get up until 7:19 am. Ugh! Even worse is when you decide that you really should start exercising so you decide that since you are getting older and haven't really worked out in any serious way in years, that you should start with something gentle and easy - like yoga. Let me tell you, nothing brings home how old you are like realizing you have absolutely no flexibility left. And when you wake up the next day (after sleeping in until 7:19 am), your muscles feel like you ran the NYC marathon. Yup. I'm old!

An Emotional Adjustment

2010-11-05T08:43:00.005-04:00

It's been a long and emotionally draining month since I've last updated. And honestly, it feels a lot longer. Adjusting to having Katie away at college has been more difficult than I would have thought - and not in the ways I was expecting. Getting used to her being gone actually happened within the first couple of weeks. The more difficult part for me has been helping her through the normal ups and downs of her adjustment while being so far away. Let me start by saying that Katie is doing amazingly well. She is happy at the college she chose, she has made lots of friends, has joined a few organizations and has jumped into them with both feet. No surprise there! She has handled all the little "problems" that have crept up with maturity, grace and a sense of responsibility. I couldn't be prouder.

So why has it been so emotionally draining? Because I can't stop worrying and obsessing about all those little "problems" that creep up. When she calls to talk to me about them (for which I am eternally grateful. And Katie, if you are reading this, please do not think I don't want you to continue to share your ups and downs with me), I then worry about whatever it is that is going on. It is so hard not to see her every day so that I can gauge by her demeanor, attitude, or by simply asking her how it's going. And, of course, the next time we talk/text everything has worked out and the problem is long over. But, I've still been thinking about it. To be fair, I figured this out fairly quickly and it's not so much of a problem now but it has contributed to this feeling of being completely drained and overwhelmed.

It didn't help that during one of the most trying times, Geoff was away on business for TWO WEEKS - in Europe. So while we did talk on the phone a few times, I couldn't really get into the whole emotional mess during a transatlantic phone call. Those were a difficult two weeks.

Thankfully, I am beginning to feel a whole lot better. I think I have a handle on all of this and as Katie moves forward in her first semester at college, there are fewer and fewer adjustments to be made. And she truly is handling everything so well, that I really don't have anything to worry about. It just took a little while to get to this point. What I've learned from all of this is that it's not only the students who have to adjust to college life. Parents do, too. And in ways I wasn't expecting.

Family Weekend

2010-09-27T18:07:00.005-04:00

This past weekend was Family Weekend at Katie's college. It was so great to see her again so soon! We are really lucky that we are able to ease into this new chapter in our family's journey. We ended up spending the weekend mainly just relaxing with Katie and we didn't participate in any of the activities scheduled by the school. We didn't really plan it that way, but it was clear that Katie really just wanted to relax with us. The first thing she asked us when we called her from the hotel was did our room have two beds. She really just wanted to sleep in a comfortable bed and shower in a "big" shower. It was nice to have her "under our roof" for two nights and I could tell she was enjoying the "comforts of home". As great as it was to see Katie, I still felt a little unsettled since Madeleine decided to stay behind and spend the weekend with my Dad and Sandy. I wasn't expecting to feel that way. But I think subconsciously I must have been looking forward to Family Weekend as a time to put our family back together. Just another emotional response I wasn't expecting regarding this whole college experience. In any case, it was nice to focus our attention solely on Katie and we did have a nice weekend.

Geoff and I stumbled upon a very cool diner Friday night on our way to Katie's school. And we ended up back there for lunch on Saturday with Katie. Geoff was beside himself with joy! He has yet to meet a diner he doesn't like!

We also took Katie shopping at a nearby outlet mall. Unlike the diner, this was not all that joyful for Geoff. But he was a good sport and indulged us.

Saturday night we met up with some friends of ours who coincidentally also have a freshman at Katie's school. It was great catching up with them and being able to introduce Katie to their son. He is a very friendly guy and it's nice for each of them to have another friendly face on campus.

On Sunday, Geoff's parents drove up and we spent the morning showing them around campus and the town and getting brunch in the student union. By early afternoon, we all said goodbye amidst a few moist eyes and lots of long hugs. As great as it is to see each other, saying goodbye each time makes it a little bittersweet. As of right now Katie is talking about coming home in a couple of weekends. We'll see if that all pans out. In the meantime, I have my fingers crossed.

Sorry I have no pictures to share. The weekend was just so relaxed and casual, I didn't want to upset the "normal family time" by constantly taking and posing for pictures.

Labor Day Tradition

2010-09-09T21:23:00.021-04:00

For the past 4 years we have spent Labor Day weekend at rented house in NH with my Dad and Sandy and my brother, Paul's, family. It's become one of my favorite things about summer. We stay in the house of friends' of my Dad and Sandy. It's a great house with an open floor plan and a terrific screened in porch not too far from New Found Lake.

It's a very low key weekend. We play games, read, eat, watch a little TV, sit by the lake, walk the dogs around the block and we usually make one excursion to explore the area.

This year we visited a gorgeous little waterfall on a stream that ran through the woods. It was nature at its best. The kids had a great time climbing up the side of the waterfall and rockhopping back and forth across the stream. The adults enjoyed it too. And so did Rosey. Everyone was in their glory.

Of course, the trip always ends with a Labor Day visit to Shackett's Ice Cream stand for free ice cream. Shackett's begins giving away their ice cream at 11:00 am and continues until it's all gone. This year we got there early and had our pick of flavors. I got pistachio, which they had run out of last year.

But the best part of the weekend was that Katie was able to come with us. Fortunately, the college she attends is not too far out of the way. We picked her up on Friday night (after her job at the Dining Hall ended at 8:30 pm. Ugh!) and had to drop her off fairly early on Monday so that she could take a swim test for the crew team. Crew? Can you believe it? The girl never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, it was so great to be able to see Katie only one week after dropping her off at college. She was full of excitement and enthusiasm as we drove to the house. She is enjoying all aspects of college and is very comfortable there. She really feels as though she made the right decision in choosing that school. What a relief! It was great to spend those three days with her, but saying goodbye the second time was not as easy I had thought it would be. It was actually a little bit harder than the first time around. We all held it together, but it was definitely a little wistful. The good news is that Family Weekend is at the end of the month. Apparently, we are going to be able to make this separation slowly. No complaints here.

Here are a few favorite photos from our trip:

First Day of School Traditions

2010-08-30T21:16:00.011-04:00

I love traditions. One tradition that I started when Katie first went to pre-school was to take a first and last day of school picture. And this year was no different. Except that this year, even though today was the first day of school for both of my girls, I could only take a picture of Madeleine.

As I was taking the photo, it occurred to me that I wouldn't take any more first day of school pictures of Katie. And it made me feel a little nostalgic. A few hours later, I was checking my cell phone and look what I found...

Katie had taken a first day of school picture of herself and sent it to me as a text message! She had titled the photo "first day of school". Is that the sweetest thing ever? I honestly can't think of a time I've been more touched by a gesture. I spoke to her on the phone later in the day and told how much I appreciated it and how happy it made me. She said that she knew I would be feeling sad and that it would cheer me up. God, I love that girl!

Another first day of school tradition that I started about 8 years ago, is that I spend part of that day at the little beach on the bay in my town. Usually I take my trusty beach chair, a book and some lunch. I sit and enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of the beach (one of my favorite places to be) and I stroll along the water's edge. It's a quiet, peaceful and serene way to catch my breath after a hectic summer. I love the sense of renewal I feel whenever I am at the beach. Here are some photos from today:

College Move in Day - Stooges' Style

2010-08-28T09:04:00.016-04:00

Well, I survived Katie's move to college. And I even did it dry-eyed! Can I have a Woot Woot?

It all went fairly smoothly, though in typical Grove fashion we couldn't have gotten through this big event without some blunders. It all started with loading up the car. We assumed we would be able to fit ~~the entire inventory of Bed, Bath and Beyond's college dorm stock~~ all of Katie's dorm essentials into her mid-sized SUV. And if not, we had our ace in the hole - a roof top carrier to hold the overflow.

We quickly filled up the back of the SUV and pulled out the trusty carrier. Geoff worked up quite a sweat getting the carrier on the roof and loaded up with back-breakingly heavy suitcases and bags of fluffy bedding. And then we realized that the "rain gutters" on the inside of the doors are not designed in such a way as to secure the carrier's clips. Of course not! (Blunder #1!)

So we emptied and removed the carrier and placed the groaning suitcases into my car. Yup! It took two cars to move one daughter to college. Of course it did!

Geoff and I drove my car and Katie and Madeleine followed behind. This configuration was, without a doubt, the best choice for Katie. Much less stressful to ride with her sister as opposed to one of her parents who would no doubt ask lots of stupid questions about her feelings about moving away from home. I was smart enough to know that. However, this might not have been the best choice for me. Geoff and I started out the ride talking about our disbelief that we were driving our daughter to college. And then I started thinking about driving her home from the hospital, her first day of kindergarten, the time she painted her body with blue fingerpaint.... and then I felt myself getting all emotional. So, Geoff and I decided to talk about what we normally talk about on car rides. His annoying choice of music, the fact that he didn't take the route that MapQuest suggested, how much I hate car rides.... You get the picture. (Blunder #2.)

The rest of Thursday was fairly uneventful. We arrived just before dinner, checked into our hotel and drove into the next town to do a little exploring of the area and eat. Not a blunder in sight!

Back at the hotel the plan was to take care of setting Katie up with online banking and opening the college sponsored debit account that she has to have for laundry and can use for pretty much anything else she will need around campus and in the town. (College today is basically a cashless endeavor. All the better to get you to spend more. It's all so abstract. Kind of like play money or gambling chips.) You may be wondering why we waited until the last possible minute to do this. Good question. I tried to sit Katie down a number times this summer to do these tasks. To no avail. I finally realized that she would be a captive audience Thursday night in the hotel and I would just quit stressing about this and do it then. What I didn't take into account is that the hotel would have an unsecured WiFi network which is probably not the best time to access your bank account and type in your password and identifying information. So much for eliminating stress. Katie was pretty stressed, but I assured her we would get it all done the next day on a secure network at the college. (Blunder #3.)

After everyone, except Katie (go figure!), spent a sleepless night, we got up super early so that we could be the first of Katie's roommates to arrive at the college. As you may know, Katie was assigned to a "built-up triple", which is basically a room designed for two in which they squeeze three. Three girls, two closets. You do the math. Also, the room would be equipped with a bunk bed and a loftable bed. Katie was determined to secure the loft bed. Even after I talked to her numerous times about the fact that she has never been on the top bunk of any bed, she is afraid of heights, has the upper body strength of a kitten (to quote Eva Longoria's character in Desperate Housewives), and it would not be convenient to just sit and hang out on her bed with her iPod or laptop - something she does constantly at home. No matter. She was convinced that she simply must have the loftable bed and we had to arrive at the college a minimum of 1 hour before the dorms opened at 9:00 am to secure her spot in line.

We arrive at the college at 7:30 am and approach our designated unloading area. Cops and college student helpers are everywhere. We are too early to park in the lot (really? what a surprise), so we were directed to line up behind a row of about 8 other cars (glad to know we are not the only other Type A families here). Since we are an hour and half early, I suggest to Katie that she and I go up to her dorm and see if we can find the exact location for Check in. You know, to insure that in the off chance one of her roommates is in one the 7 cars in front of us, that we will have the advantage of knowing exactly where to go. Because, we simply must get that loftable bed. Type A, who me? (Blunder #4.)

After our ~~reconnaissance of the dorm perimeter~~ stroll around the dorm, we head back to the line of cars. What the heck? Is that Geoff driving my car down the street? What!? Is that Madeleine following him in Katie's car?! What the F***!!! Madeleine is only 15 years old and does not even have a learner's permit, let alone a driver's license. OMG! She is driving past a line of cops! Holy sh**! I run up to the car and ~~scream like a possessed woman~~ calmly tell her to scoot over so that I can drive. She does, but forgets to put the car in park and the car slowly rolls forward right in front of the line of cops! Heaven help me. After ~~frantically wresting control of the car away from Madeleine~~ calmly parking in a new line of cars (now we are number 3! what are the odds that one of the other two cars holds her roommate? The car right of front us does have MA plates, though. Could it be Kerry from Needham?), I ask Madeleine what the hell was going on. Apparently, the cops told Geoff to move to a different area designated specifically for Katie's dorm. Since Katie and I (the only other legal drivers) were on our recon mission, he simply told Madeleine to move the car. Why not, right? He's let her drive our car around the block a time or two. By now I'm about to have a coronary, so I decide to do some deep breathing while Madeleine tries to convince me, in Rain Man-like fashion, that she is an excellent driver. Oh for Pete's sake, did anyone pack any Valium in one of these overstuffed cars? It's impossible to be sad, when you're one of the Three Stooges!

Figuring that we will be sitting in the car for at least another hour I turn the car off. Makes perfect sense right? Wrong! (Blunder #5.) I don't drive Katie's car very often, but I am aware that the ignition key can be a little touchy. Sometimes you have to wiggle it just right in order to turn it - which is necessary to turn the car on! Minor detail. Geoff had been struggling with it a little bit on this trip. Katie told him all the tricks - take the key out and turn it around, wiggle the gear shift, put your foot on the brake, wiggle the steering wheel. One of these tricks always worked - for Katie and Geoff. You see where this is going, right? At 10 minutes to 8, the cops wave us on. Geoff is in front of me, in my car. He moves right along. And guess who can't get the car started? At all. Ever. The cop comes over and I tell him, in the midst of my panic attack, what's happening and he lets the cars behind me go ahead of me. Nooooo!!!! We need to get the loftable bed!!!! WAIT!!! I send Madeleine after Geoff and tell her to get him to come back - after Katie gets in line to check in. Eventually, Geoff comes and rescues me and we move into the room - and Katie is the first (and only one) there and she gets the loftable bed! (Blunder #6.)

Why is getting the loftable bed a Blunder? About an hour after the first of Katie's roommates arrives and chooses the lower bunk, Katie decides that she doesn't, in fact, think having the loftable bed is a good idea. Really? No kidding? Where the h*ll is that Valium? Do they sell alcohol in the Dining Hall? Probably not. No problem. Just hit me over the head with that hammer that we packed.

In all seriousness, Katie was in good spirits when we left her. No one cried. The one roommate that we had an opportunity to spend some time with, Lindsay, is very nice and easy to talk to and seemed very comfortable to be there (she only lives 20 minutes away and that probably helps). We left the two of them in the room chatting it up and getting ready for their first hall meeting.

Two text messages one extremely brief phone call and a few Facebook statuses later, all seems to be going quite well. Though, I'm still waiting to hear if Katie slept on the floor last night!

She's Leaving Home - Bye, Bye....

2010-08-26T07:00:00.002-04:00

Today we pack up the car and drive Katie to college to begin her Freshman year. We are so proud of her as she takes her first tentative steps in the next chapter of her life. But, there are other emotions, too. Long ago I cut this poem out of our local paper and tucked it into my calendar for August 2010. It says all I'm feeling, so much better than I ever could. Besides, I'm crying too hard to write anything coherent.

Hold Fast the Summer

Hold fast the summer. It is

the beauty of the day and all it

contains.

The laughter and work and

finally the sleep. The quiet.

Oh September, do not put

your weight upon my mind.

For I know she will be going.

This daughter of mine who is

now a woman — she must go.

Time will lace my thoughts

with joyous years.

The walls will echo her

“Hello”. Her caring will be

around each corner.

Her tears will be tucked into

our memory book.

Life calls her beyond our

reach — to different walls.

New faces, shiny halls, shy

smiles, many places.

Greater learning — she must

go.

But wait, before she leaves, be

sure she knows you love her.

Hide the lump in your throat

as you hug her.

She will soon be home again

— but she will be different.

The little girl will have

disappeared.

How I wished I could take

September and shake it, for it

came too soon.

I must look to the beauty of

each new day, and silently

give thanks.

~Author Unknown

Note: The poem was originally written for a son. I have changed the wording to more adequately express my situation.

Letting Go

2010-08-25T21:56:00.005-04:00

Tonight feels very surreal and unsettling to me. It's the last night that our family will live in this house as a family full-time. Tomorrow we take Katie to college. Of course, she'll come back for holidays and summer vacation and possibly even some long weekends, but never again will the four of us live together in the same way that we have for the last 18 years. I have such a mix of emotions running through my heart and mind, that I can't really pin any one down. I'm so proud of her, I'm excited for her to begin this new journey, I'm worried about how she'll adjust, I'm sad that I won't be with her every day, I'm regretting all the things I've screwed up as her mom, moments of her childhood are flashing through my brain, I'm trying to focus on all the last minute things we need to do before we leave tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed and emotionally wrung out.

Right now Katie has four friends over and they are eating pizza and laughing and having a great time. And tomorrow that will all be over. All that comfort and familiarity will be gone and she will have to find her way all over again. It's sad and a little scary. I just want her to be happy. And I worry about her. It's going to be so weird to drop her off in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people and just leave. How can my job as her 24/7 parent be over? I want to continue to protect her and guide her and help her weather life's ups and downs. I'm not ready to let her go. But I have to. And it hurts.

Ahoy, Matey!

2010-08-21T18:47:00.010-04:00

Ever notice how easy it is to take the place that you live for granted? Never spending time enjoying the special features of your town, surrounding area or state. That is something I try very hard to avoid. I make a concerted effort to experience and appreciate all that is offered here in Little Rhody - our natural wonders, cultural offerings, excellent independently owned restaurants, museums, and sites of historical significance. And until Friday, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of what I refer to as being a "tourist in my own backyard."

On Friday, Geoff arranged for the four of us to go sailing with a business associate who owns a 36 foot sailboat, Serenissima, which means The Most Serene in Italian (which my bloggy friend LindyLou Mac, of News from Italy, can verify. I hope!). As much as I love the water and the ocean in particular, I am not big into boating. I'm more of a beach goer.

Steve, the owner of the boat, was a gracious host and allowed us to steer the boat and work the sails. We all learned quite a bit about sailing during our 4 hours on the bay and in the open ocean off of Jamestown, RI.

But it was while I was sitting on the boat relaxing and looking out over the water that I realized with shock and dismay that I not been to the beach at all this summer. Or last summer, come to think of it. This is craziness for someone who loves the beach and lives in The Ocean State, for Pete's sake! And it made me wonder why. I have no good answer to that. But I do have a solution. Every year for the past 7 years or so, it's been my tradition to go to my local town beach on the first day of school. Just me, my trusty beach chair (which has been in my car all summer), a bottle of water and a book. This year I've invited my very good friend, Margaret, to join me. She is also sending her oldest children (twins) off to college for the first time this year. I though it might be nice to share this peaceful and renewing experience with her. Besides, I think we will both need a shoulder to cry on.

Here are a few favorite photos from our trip on the Serenissima:

The Serenissima

Serenissima

Madeleine

Katie

Steve

Geoff

Madeleine

Steve

Beavertail Lighthouse
Jamestown, RI

The Mother of All Book Memes

2010-08-19T14:45:00.005-04:00

I just couldn't resist this week's Booking Through Thursday question. It is a book meme to beat all book memes. It's quite long and I doubt most people would want to take the time to read through the whole thing, but I had a lot of fun thinking about all these questions and how to answer them. If you decide to play along, be sure to link up your answers on the Booking Through Thursday website.

1. Favorite childhood book?
The Luckiest Girl by Beverly Cleary

2. What are you reading right now?
Small Island by Andrea Levy and The Given Day by Dennis Lehane.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
Your Lost Me There by Rosecrans Baldwin
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski (playaway)
The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory
Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt (playaway)
One Day by David Nicholls
Private: Los Angeles, New York, San Diego, London ...by James Patterson (for my mom)
Ape House by Sara Gruen

4. Bad book habit?
Checking out more books than I can possibly read in 3 weeks.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Small Island by Andrea Levy
The Given Day by Dennis Lehane (playaway)
Leaving Atlanta by Tayari Jones
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
The Richest Season by Maryann McFadden
The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore
The Unnamed by Joshua Ferris
When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris (playaway)
The Given Day by Dennis Lehane (paperback)
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
The Wives of Henry Oades by Johanna Moran

I feel as though a disclaimer is necessary here. Tonight is my turn to bring books to book club for selection. Seven of the above titles are directly related to book club. Most will be going back after tonight. (Though I may read them eventually.)

6. Do you have an e-reader?
Yes. I have a Kindle, which I use on vacation.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
If you had asked me this a year ago, I would have said one at a time! No way could I keep more story lines straight. But, I've since changed my mind. Right now I'm listening to one book, The Given Day, on playaway when I walk in the mornings and any other time I'm reading, I'm reading a hardcover edition of Small Island.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
Not at all.

9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
Informed Consent by Neil Ravin

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Not very. I will if the book is for a book club or for Reading Across Rhode Island.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
I enjoy contemporary fiction with a little meat to it, but not too literary and non-fiction in topics that interest me.

13. Can you read on the bus?
Yes, the only place I have trouble reading is in the car.

14. Favorite place to read?
Laying down on the sofa in my family room.

15. What is your policy on book lending?
I don't own very many books and those that I do are my favorites. I am happy to lend them out, but I do want to get them back.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Absolutely not. Never!

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Never!

18. Not even with text books?
I never wrote in my textbooks, but I did highlight them.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?
English is the only language I can read in, unfortunately.

20. What makes you love a book?
Great characters and an interesting story that speaks to me in some way.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
If I loved it and I think that it would appeal to a specific person.

22. Favorite genre?
Fiction

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
None. If I wished I read it, I would.

24. Favorite biography?
Night by Elie Wiesel

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
Yes. Whenever I am faced with a new phase in life or some problem I turn to books for help.

26. Favorite cookbook?
I'm not much of a cook or a cookbook reader, but if I have to choose I'd say Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book. A good basic cookbook.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba

28. Favorite reading snack?
I don't typically snack when I read.

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.(answer here)
Little Bee by Chris Cleave

30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
Fairly often.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I do not like to give negative reviews. I prefer to provide book recommendations rather than say anything negative about a book. Though I have at times written mildly critical comments about some books. My main objective in reviewing a book is to encourage others to read it. And to encourage reading in general.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
French, because it's the only language besides English, that I know a little bit of.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
American Bloomsbury by Susan Cheever was intimidating in the sense that I was concerned that it might be a bit academic. It was a little.

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
I'm not intimidated by any book, but I tend to steer clear of books that seem too "textbooky".

35. Favorite Poet?
I don't do poetry.

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
3-6

37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
25% of the time

38. Favorite fictional character?
Merriweather from Sleeping Beauty. I know technically she's in a movie and not a book, but she is still a fictional character.

39. Favorite fictional villain?
Maleficient from Sleeping Beauty. OK, now that's weird. I've never thought about it before, but those two really are my favorites in these categories. I don't tend to get attached to characters in books. But Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney movie and Aurora is my favorite Disney Princess and I've always loved Merriweather (Probably because I am short, brunette, round and feisty, just like her.)

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
The hottest new books on my TBR list.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
Four and a half years - between the birth of my first child and when I joined my first book club. I did read relevant chapters in parenting books and articles parenting magazines during that time, but no novels or books for pure enjoyment.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
There are many. The most recent one was Second Hand by Michael Zadoorian. I just wasn't all that interested in the story. Which surprised me because I loved his other book - The Leisure Seeker.

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
If the TV or radio is too loud.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
Gone with the Wind. I can't say that I think it's a great adaptation of the book, but I love that movie and I love the book as well. Scarlett O'Hara is a close runner up for my favorite fictional character. Another feisty brunette!

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
I think most of them are disappointing if I see the movie close enough to when I finished the book. If enough time elapses between reading the book and seeing the movie, then I usually am not disappointed.

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?Not sure. I don't buy a lot of books, except for gifts. $50, maybe.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?

I never skim books before reading them and very rarely do I skim when I'm reading. The only times I skim is if I am running behind on a book club book and I'm not enjoying the book anyway. I can only remember doing this twice.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
If I'm not enjoying it. And I may not wait to get half-way through.

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
My fiction books are arranged by author's last name. I also have a section of a shelf for classics, for travel books and a small space for classical literature I read in college. My husband's books, which share three bookcases with my books, are not arranged at all. They are neat, but disorganized. And his books take up the lion's share of the space.

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
Since I only buy books that are my absolute favorites, I keep them. I don't buy books on a regular basis.

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
I was avoiding The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, because it is not a genre a usually enjoy. But once it became so popular I decided to read it, so I could see for myself what all the fuss was about. But I still kept putting it off. That problem was solved in July when my book club chose it. Right now there is no book I'm avoiding.

52. Name a book that made you angry.
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. That book had me writing pages and pages of notes in red pen disputing his theories. That is completely out of character for me. Just the sight of one his books makes my blood boil.

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?

The Unforgiving Minute by Craig M. Mullaney.

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?

This year's Pulitzer Prize winner, Tinkers by Paul Harding.

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Philippa Gregory's historical fiction about the Tudors and Plantagenets.

Did you really read that whole list? Amazing. So how about you? I'd love to hear about your reading tastes, quirks and preferences.

Life's Archive

2010-08-16T16:48:00.007-04:00

Recently my daughter Katie received an email informing her of her college mailing address and dorm room phone number. When she gave me a copy of that information, at first I wasn't sure what to do with it. Where should I record it? Then it occurred to me. I should put it in my address book. That felt very surreal me. My daughter would have her own entry in my address book. The first of many addresses I will record for her, I'm sure. More than getting her driver's license, or getting accepted to college, or turning 18 (which she did this past weekend) - writing her name and her very own address in my address book made it official to me that she is now a grown up. It caught me off guard. Recording a separate address for my own child really symbolizes for me that she is beginning her own life, separate from that of our family. Wow! That feels really, really strange.

After giving Katie her very own entry in my address book, I absent-mindedly flipped through the pages and realized that an address book is really an archive of one's life. Coincidentally, I bought this address book when I was a newly married young woman beginning my new life with my new husband. So this particular address book is really a record of my married life. I read through the names and addresses of both my and my husband's relatives, our college friends home addresses and then later their own addresses as they moved out on their own. And I even recorded the names of their children as they were added to their families. There are the names of neighbors and friends from our life in AZ, Girl Scout leaders, Bunco and book club members, and even a couple we met on a cruise and stayed in touch with for a few years. Some of the people listed there are no longer alive, but seeing their names in my address book brings them to mind and reminds me of their importance in my life. It was such a wonderful walk down memory lane to read those names from my present and my past. Many of them I haven't thought about it years, but there they all were. Reminders of my relationships and friends from my past. Which reminded me of all the stages of my married life - our first home in a rented condo and the friends we made there. The first home we bought and the women I met at the neighborhood playground. Right up to the newest entry - my very own Katie. And it occurred to me, my address book is really a history of my life.

A few days ago Katie came home from the local bookstore with a brand spanking new address book of her own. She wants to fill it with all her high school friends and relatives before she goes off to college. I advised her to fill it in in pencil, so she can change the addresses as her friends embark on their very own journeys to independence. Someday I hope Katie can look back on her address book and reminisce about her own life's journey. I wonder how she will feel when she has to write the name of her son or daughter on their very own space in her address book. My guess is that it will be a combination of pride and wistfulness.

My Life: Work, Kids and Books

2010-08-12T20:16:00.015-04:00

It's been a while since I posted and life has been busy. Here's the Cliff's Notes version of what's been going on in my life.

First, I'm no longer working two part-time jobs! Quitting my second library job was a difficult decision, but it was a good one. Juggling two part time jobs was just too stressful. And the compensation was just not enough to justify how stressed and overwhelmed I felt. Once I quit, I never gave it a second thought. It was definitely the right decision. I learned a very valuable lesson from this 6 month experience. I really don't want to work full-time or even more hours than I currently work. The job I have, while not perfect, is actually a good fit. And I've said this before but I'll say it again, one part time, low paying job is a hobby, two is a career. And that just sucks all the fun out of it.

Having more free time has come in handy in the last couple weeks as I've been busy getting Katie ready to start her Freshman year in college. It's been a bit bumpy at times, but we've gotten all the shopping done and Katie seems ready (resigned?) to go to college at the end of August. She seems a little less anxious now than she did earlier in the summer. She received her room and roommate assignment in July and was not thrilled to learn that she was placed in a "built up triple" (basically three students are put into a room meant for two. That means only 2 closets for three girls!). She has contacted both of her roommates on Facebook and one seems very friendly and the other is either not or very socially awkward. Time will tell. So far I'm not freaking out too much about taking her to college and driving off without her. I think I'm mostly concerned about how she is going to do - considering her level of nervousness. Again, time will tell.

Another reason why it's handy that I'm not working two jobs is that Madeleine had her tonsils out on Tuesday and I've been extremely busy taking care of her. We both knew that the recovery from this surgery was tough, but I'm not sure she realized how bad she would feel. And I definitely didn't realize how much care she would need. The poor thing is still in pain pretty much all the time (even with strong pain medication). She needs to take the medication every four hours around the clock, which means I'm up twice during the night. Plus bringing her ice packs, and drinks and trying to get her to eat during the day. It's tiring and heartbreaking. I wish there was more I could do for her. Hopefully, she'll turn a corner tomorrow. Everyone tells us Day 3 is the turning point. Fingers crossed.

In addition to all that, I'm also now reading up a storm for Reading Across Rhode Island. We had one meeting at the end of July and whittled the original list of 49 titles down to 11. We are meeting again at the end of August and I'd like to have read as many of those as possible. I have 3 more to go. One of which is 700 pages. Not sure I'm going to make it. Especially since I need to read two book club books before that meeting as well. Maybe I can squeeze one more in. A short one! Unfortunately, the list this year is not all that exciting. Nothing has grabbed my attention yet. I am happy to report that the book I nominated, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford is still in the running, but it doesn't look good. Of the committee members who have read it so far, the decision is about 50/50. But so far, no one book has really risen to the top. There are a couple I like, but I have yet to read a "WOW" book. I'll keep you posted about our decision and the titles involved as soon as I am able. And, of course, I'll let you know about any must reads I discover.

And my most exciting news is that last Saturday I attended a book signing by the best selling author and Rhode Island resident Ann Hood. She was promoting her latest book, The Red Thread, which is a really good book that I haven't had time to review. Ann was surprisingly down to earth and looked like any other suburban mom. She mentioned in passing that she had attended the book club meeting of one of the women in the audience to discuss this book. I attended this event with my friend and fellow book club member, Colleen. Colleen suggested we ask Ann if she would be willing to talk to our book club. What a great idea! Not one to be shy or retiring, I walked up to Ann during the book signing and asked her if she'd be willing to do it. She didn't even hesitate to say "yes." Really? I couldn't believe it. She will be at our November meeting. Now I have to think of some really good questions to ask so as not to embarrass myself. The pressure is on. Truthfully, I think it will be awesome. Ann is so easy to talk to and open. I jotted a few notes after her talk and I think the conversation will be quite natural. Again, I'll keep you posted.

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I think about blogging all the time, but finding the energy and time seems to be a problem lately. Hopefully, I get my groove back soon. I do still read all of your blogs, even if I don't comment every time. Again, lack of energy and time.

Mini Book Reviews

2010-07-29T20:46:00.011-04:00

Here are some quick reviews and thoughts about three books I've read recently.

Every Last One by Anna Quindlen: I was excited to see that Anna Quindlen had written a new book. I loved Black and Blue and many of her collections of essays and I hadn't seen anything substantial from her in a long time. The description of the book sounded interesting as well - the story of a mom dealing with the trials of parenthood and especially her concerns over her youngest son. Quindlen did an amazing job of capturing the life and role of a typical suburban mom. I could identify completely with Mary Beth as she goes through the days of soccer practices, prom planning and guitar lessons. And then the story takes a completely unexpected turn that takes my breath away. Unlike Little Bee by Chris Cleave, Every Last One is a book that you shouldn't know too much about before you read it. My suggestion is not to read any reviews or to let anyone tell you too much about the plot. Let the story unfold naturally. I loved this book. It would be a great book club selection. But I don't want to say anything else about it. I gave Every Last One 4 stars - I really liked it.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson: I had heard about this book at least a year ago (way before it became so popular) and decided that because it's a mystery/suspense/crime thriller, I wasn't interested. Then the books in the series (this is book one in a trilogy) simply exploded in popularity and I decided I had to see for myself what all the fuss is about. On top of that, my personal book club chose this book for our July selection. I will admit that I was excited to read it and was all ready to love it and anxiously devour the other two books in the series. Well, that didn't happen. While it is a good mystery/suspense/crime thriller, it isn't good enough to make me want to read more. At least not right now. Maybe next time I'm in the mood for that type of book I will pick up the next book. But for right now, I've had my fill. I gave Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 3 stars - I liked it.

The Woman Who Can't Forget: The Extraordinary Story of Living With the Most Remarkable Memory Known to Science by Jill Price and Bart Davis: I stumbled upon this book quite by accident. I happened to be in a library in a nearby town when I decided to check out their collection of playaways. There are not a lot of books available on playaway through my library system, so in order to find one to read I really do need to browse the titles and see if something captures my interest. And that is exactly how I found this intriguing memoir. The title caught my eye, since I have an interest in psychology and medicine and the study of memory is a big part of the study of psychology (I have a degree in psychology). I found Jill's story absolutely fascinating. She has a remarkable autobiographical memory in that she is able to remember, in great detail, every single day of her life from the age of about 10 on. And she has many vivid memories from even earlier. She is not a savant who can perform great feats of mathematical skill nor can she recall long lists of words. Instead her memory is one that does not let her forget one single moment of her life. And these memories come to her, oftentimes, unbidden. And not just pleasant memories, but all her horrible memories as well. In addition, she experiences all the emotions of those memories each time the memory is recalled. For Jill, this ability has been a huge burden for her. I found her story fascinating. I'm not sure this book would be for everyone since it does go into some detail on memory research, brain studies and diagnostic testing. But if you have an interest in the topic, I recommend it. I gave The Woman Who Can't Forget 4 stars - I really liked it.

How about you? Have you read any good books lately? Any bad books?

A Matter of Perspective

2010-07-26T17:44:00.004-04:00

On Sunday morning I was catching up on all the blogs in my Reader when I read a post by Miss Kris of A Shelter from the Storm, that listed all the ways that today's youth have it easy. You may have seen this list or a similar one as it's been making the email circuit lately. To refresh your memory here is the list:

1) When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 5 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. A swat on the rear got our attention and didn’t really hurt anything but our pride.

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless.

6) We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any all-invasive cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY goodness!!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! Doesn’t anyone know how annoying they are in public places?

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your in-laws, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! You actually had to use your imagination!!!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were out of luck when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off the couch and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

14) And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!And you know what? With all these modern day conveniences supposedly invented to make our lives easier...are they, really??

As I was reading the list, I found myself nodding my head in recognition and agreement and even smiling and reminiscing a little bit. And then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. OMG! I'M OLD. This is one of those "good old days" lists that old people talk about when they complain about kids "these days" and here I am nodding my head in agreement and recalling those "good old days" of my youth. *gulp* What a reality check.

Later that day, I went grocery shopping with my 15 year old daughter, Madeleine. While I went up and down the aisles filling our cart, she stood at the deli and ordered our lunchmeat and cheese for sandwiches (ah, the joys of having older children. I hate waiting at the deli. It feels like a monumental waste of time.) Anyway... When we got home and were putting away the groceries Madeleine told me that waiting at the deli had made her feel old. Really? Just how old can a 15 year old feel? Well, it seems that when Madeleine ordered some sliced American cheese, the deli worker offered a slice to the adorable little boy waiting nearby with his mother. She did not offer a slice to Madeleine. In that moment Madeleine realized that, in the eyes of the world, she is no longer a child. And it made her feel sad... and old.

Apparently being "old" is all a matter of perspective. Ah, dear Madeleine, I know how you feel.

A Techie? Who Me?

2010-07-24T14:07:00.007-04:00

Most of you probably know (or have figured out by know), that I'm not the most technologically advanced creature on the planet. I'm not a gadget guru and I tend to like to do things the "old-fashioned way". Well, the times they are a changin'. Recently I've found myself using (and enjoying!) two technological gadgets! Go figure.

It all started at the beginning of July when I realized that the fact that my walking buddy was not available was not a good reason to stop exercising. (Canceling my membership to Curves was not a good excuse, either. Whatever). I had to do something.

From past experience, I know that walking by myself is just too boring. I get about 3 1/2 minutes from home and I'm wondering if I can turn around and still count it as a workout. I considered listening to books while I walk, but I don't have an iPod and even if I did I'm sure I wouldn't be able to figure out how to download books to it. I've tried walking with a CD player in the past and that just doesn't work very well. Too much jostling. Then I discovered the most wonderful new gadget. Playaways! Digital books that can be checked out of the library! How perfect is that. Each Playaway contains one complete book and is about the size of a deck of cards (see image above). Now I can hardly wait to get out there and walk in the mornings. How's that for multitasking - reading and exercising all at the same time. Can't beat it.

And if discovering Playaways wasn't enough, I also think I've fallen in love with my Kindle. I know, I know. I never thought it would happen. When I bought the Kindle last summer to take on vacation I thought I would hate it and was surprised that I didn't. But I still considered it solely a tool for traveling. I used it again on this vacation and decided that I actually do like reading on it. I even downloaded and read a book on it after I got home. Holy moly, what's happening to me? I don't think I will continue to do that, however. I'm not accustomed to paying for books and even with the discounted Kindle price, I can't see myself spending $50-$60 a month to read. I just can't get my mind around that. Maybe I'll use it for really hot new books. Then I won't have to wait to get the book from the library. We'll see. In any case, I'm a little surprised by all this. Who says you can't teach a old dog new tricks?

How about you? Do you prefer to read the old-fashioned way or are you totally techno? Have you tried Playaways? I'd love to hear what you think.

The Happiest Place on Earth

2010-07-18T14:03:00.020-04:00

Once again it's been a long time since I've posted here. Time and motivation have been very lacking lately. I did, however, just return from vacation so I have lots of stories and photos to share.

I have to admit that I was less than thrilled about the destination of our family vacation this year - Disney World. Now I know that many people, maybe even you, love Disney World and some people go year after year after year. Let's just say that I'm not one of those people. Years ago, when my girls were 5 and 3 and then again when they were 8 and 6, we went to Disneyland. (We lived in AZ at the time). It was fun to watch the girls experience the magic of Fantasy Land. But, now the girls are 17 and 15 and I'm just not feeling it. Not to mention that Disney World is in FLORIDA and it's JULY! Yeah, it was hot. And humid. But, I was overruled this year and I sucked it up and took one for the team.

So, here's the Cliff's Notes version of my summer vacation.

The Good

We stayed at Saratoga Springs Resort. It was a beautiful resort and our suite was lovely (not that I spent all that much time there, but still...)

Meeting Anita from A Wife, A Woman, A Mom!!!! Yes, I met a real life blogging buddy. It was amazing. Anita picked me up at my hotel and we spent the next 7 hours chatting in a bookstore, chatting over dinner and chatting over hot fudge sundaes with my family. For those of you who know Anita through her blog, I'm pleased to report that she is just as sweet, funny and charming in real life as she is in blogland. She even drove an hour to meet up with me! How nice was that? Meeting Anita was definitely one of the highlights of the trip.

There were some other good moments:

Arriving at our room and finding a lovely gift bag full of Disney snacks, water bottles and fruit from my friend and travel agent, Colleen! Thanks Colleen! That was so sweet and very appreciated.

Harry Potter's Wizarding World (is that what it's called?) at Universal Studios was amazing. Well worth the 90 minute wait to get on the "big" ride.

Though I drew the line at waiting two hours with Katie and Madeleine to get into Ollivander's Wand shop to buy a magic wand (I kid you not). If I'm going to wait 2 hours for a magic wand it had better turn my husband into Prince Charming, my house into a castle, my sweat soaked sun dress into a ball gown, and my floppy canvas hat into a tiara.

Epcot Center's World Showcase was fun as was the ride Soarin' (I'm not much of a ride person).

Though I did ride The Rockin' Rollercoaster at Hollywood Studios.

The safari ride at Animal Kingdom was exciting.

And we had some nice meals. Katie and Madeleine had a wonderful time and that was fun to witness. All in all, it wasn't as horrible as I feared it would be.

Now for...

The Bad

Did I mention it was hot and humid.

I have had some serious back issues in the past, but for the most part I've been fine for the past 5 years. Well it chose this vacation, which is nothing but walking for hours and hours every day, to go out. I lived on Advil for a week. I'm going to have to make an appointment with the chiropractor.

Waiting in lines. Long lines.

The downfalls of using your room card/park ticket to make purchases (everything from food, to souvenirs). Way too easy and too much like play money.

Disney is expensive (see above).

Katie lost her fairly new cell phone during the very last portion of our very last day of vacation.

The Ugly

Madeleine getting sick and feeling like she is going to throw up 15 minutes before boarding our flight to FL. (Guess who didn't get on that flight?)

Having to call someone to come and pick us up at the airport and drive us home only to realize 2 hours later Madeleine is fine and could you please drive us back to the airport (thanks Dad and Sandy).

Arriving at the hotel to find out that a bottle of spray sunscreen exploded in my brand spanking new luggage, leaked through the sealed ziploc bag it was in and ruined not only the inside pocket of said new luggage, but it also leaked through to the outside of the suitcase leaving a huge greasy looking stain AND it also managed to ruin several articles of clothing. Yay!

Realizing on the day of departure that Geoff THOUGHT he paid an extra $10 per ticket to guarantee "A" boarding passes on Southwest Airlines for all of us, only to find out that he didn't. And now it's too late. Guess who ended up sitting in the last row of the plane (you know, in the seats that don't recline) while the rest of her family found seats together up front? Oh yeah, it was a great flight home!

OK, OK, enough complaining. It really was a nice vacation, even with the aforementioned Bad and Ugly. Disney really does know how to run a business and how to make their guests happy. Everything is very well organized, clean and efficient. There is nothing out of place and the staff (or cast members, as they are called) are all cheerful, pleasant and helpful. And seeing how happy Katie and Madeleine (and Geoff) were made it all worth it. At least until the credit card bill arrives.

And just in case you are dying to see more vacation photos, here are few more of my favorites:

Mini Book Reviews

2010-06-29T09:54:00.013-04:00

I've been very remiss in writing book reviews lately. And if any of you have been paying attention, you will have noticed that the Books Read This Year collage on my sidebar has grown quite a bit. Suddenly, I've reading up a storm and have finished several books recently. Only two are worth recommending, but I thought I'd do something different this time and write "mini reviews" for a few of those books.

Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok: This is a book unlike any I've read of the Asian experience (and I've read a lot of books with Asian protagonists). This book presents a very authentic view of the life of a mother and young daughter who emigrate to NY from Hong Kong. It's not the typical struggle between mother and daughter over traditional vs. American ways. It is the story of how these two people struggle to survive under harsh circumstances. How they work together to better themselves. And how Kimberly, an eleven year old girl, works hard at school all day and then spends her evenings in a sweat shop helping her mother meet her quota. Only to go back to their condemned apartment, which is infested with roaches and has no heat. Eventually, Kimberly wins a place a prestigious private school ,and with the blessing of her mother, enrolls there knowing this is her only way to lift herself and her mother out of their dire circumstances. All the while continuing to work at the sweat shop and hiding her dual life from her friends and from the school authorities. Surprisingly, this is not a dark and depressing story. Not at all. It the story of triumph over hardship. Of determination, support and love. I highly recommend it. One of the best books I've read so far this year. I gave Girl in Translation 4 Stars - I really liked it.

Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy O. Frost: Are any of you as fascinated as I am by the TV show Hoarders? The organizational side of my personality (which is, admittedly, a bit overdeveloped) loves this show. I sit here and talk to the screen and cringe at the mess. Itching to get in there and clean the place up. And throw away all that "stuff". I'm the antithesis of a pack rat (much to the chagrin of my husband, who has some mild hoarding tendencies, based on the information in this book). Anyway, this book was less of a voyeuristic peak into the lives of hoarders than it is an explanation of how hoarders think and how this mindset makes it nearly impossible for anyone to "help" them or for them to change. It was really eye-opening and it did give me a bit more sympathy for hoarders. I'm a little less likely to judge them now when I watch the show. Fascinating, though not riveting reading. If this topic interests you, I think you'll like it. If you are just curious about hoarders for the curiosity factor E. L. Doctorow's novel, Homer and Langley, is probably a better choice. I gave Stuff 3 STARS - I liked it.

Tinkers by Paul Harding: This book was a major disappointment. You might remember that I blogged about it a few months ago when it won the 2010 Pulitzer for Fiction. An event that was a surprise to most everyone. I chose this book for the book club I run at the library. And while it did generate some good discussion, the book itself was a difficult read. There are parts that were interesting and told in the usual way. You know, a story with a beginning a middle and and end. But there were large portions that were told as the wandering, disjointed hallucinations of a dying man. Long unintelligible sections that left me scratching my head, wondering what the heck was going on. Pretty much everyone in the book club felt the same way, though some disliked the book more than others. Though, as happens occasionally, after discussing the book and sharing some research on it (which was written by a woman with a PhD in comparative literature), we all agreed that we liked the book more after the discussion and that it might warrant a second reading. Well, not me. I don't reread books. Especially books I didn't like the first time around. I would recommend this one to all you PhDs in comparative literature. The rest of you, I would suggest you pass on this one. I gave Tinkers 2 stars - it was OK.

Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel: Another disappointment, though I can't say I was surprised. After reading Martel's fascinating and amazing Life of Pi a few years ago, I was thrilled to see he had written a new book. I had read that his newest book was an allegory with two animals, a donkey and a monkey, as main characters. Right there I was sceptical. I don't like allegories. Mostly because I don't understand them. I'm a very literal reader (and person, for that matter). But, considering the fact that Life of Pi also cleverly used animals as characters, I thought I would give it a try, even though I'd read very mixed reviews of the book. I am happy to report that I understood the allegory perfectly. It was very obvious. So that's a plus. The story itself was not very interesting, however. If you are interested in reading something by Yann Martel, I'd recommend Life of Pi. If you loved Life of Pi and can't resist, I won't dissuade you. Beatrice and Virgil is a quick and easy read, which is not something I can say about most allegories. So there isn't much to lose if you want to see for yourself. I gave Beatrice and Virgil 2 stars - it was OK.

Last Night at the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan: I had never heard of this slim book until it showed up on this year's Reading Across Rhode Island nomination list (yes, I'm participating again this year). I really enjoyed this simple, yet thoughtful book about the general manager of a Red Lobster as he prepares for and works through the final shift of "his" restaurant before corporate shuts its doors for good. It's a story of pride in one's work, of ethics, of doing the right thing and of reinventing yourself. I could really relate to Manny as he navigated the last night that his restaurant would be open. A timely book that I recommend. I gave Last Night at the Lobster 4 stars - I really liked it.

So, how about you? What have you read lately? Anything you would recommend? I'd love to hear all about it.

Musing Mondays

2010-06-28T18:20:00.003-04:00

This week’s musing asks…

What do you think of books that receive a lot of hype? (think of the “Twilight” saga, or “Harry Potter”, or “The Da Vinci Code”). Do you read them? Why, or why not?

This is a good question and one that I was recently discussing with Sandy of It's a Jungle Out There. For the most part, I use the same criteria for "hyped" books that I do for all others. If the topic sounds interesting, I will read it. However, there are very rare times when someone who's opinion I trust recommends a hyped book to me and I will read it. However, I never read super-hyped, "franchised" books (like Twilight and Harry Potter). Like movies, once a book goes into serialization it usually isn't very good. And books that are series right from the start are usually too commercial for my taste. In keeping with the DVD analogy, these are like movies that go straight to DVD. I can promise you that I will NEVER read the Twilight series. No matter who recommends it (with sincere apologies to all you Twi-hards out there).

Introducing...New England Bloggers

2010-06-21T08:31:00.012-04:00

For awhile now I've been a member of blogging group called New England Bloggers which was started by Elizabeth of Thoughts of an Evil Overlord as a way for NE bloggers to find each other. Right now New England Bloggers is hosting a blog carnival called Introducing... New England Bloggers, where members visit another NE Blogger and then introduce them on their own blogs. I've never participated in a blog carnival before, but it sounded like fun. It was very easy to decide which member to introduce here on Pam's Perspective. Her blog title says it all. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Jem from A Reading Journal.

As her title suggests, Jem blogs about books and other book, library and literature related topics! What's not to love? She lives in Nashua, NH, is a member of several book clubs (both in person and online) and she studied literature in college. I'm so jealous. Why didn't I think of that when I was a college student? Think of all the time I wasted not reading and learning about great books.

Anyway, back to Jem. She has two very cool lists on her sidebar. One consists of links to photos she has taken of various libraries around the country. Who knew I wasn't the only person who obsessively takes photos of libraries when I travel to new places. The other list consists of posts she has written about her "Literary Excursions", which include visits to the homes of Robert Frost, Edith Wharton and Louisa May Alcott. How cool is that? This is something I've been meaning to do for a while now and my personal book club was just discussing this very thing as a way to celebrate our 10th anniversary in 2012. I think it was serendipity that I found Jem and A Reading Journal. But that's not all, she is also participating in a reading challenge. And not just any reading challenge, but an Art History Reading Challenge. Really? This is uncanny. I just spent the last 9 months taking an Art History Workshop at the Rhode Island School of Design Museum! I think Jem just might be my long lost twin.

In addition to all that, she also writes very concise and informative book reviews. And the books she's reads are fascinating. They are not your standard "hot" books that are on every list from Oprah to the NYT. She finds interesting and amazing books that I'm not familiar with ( and I work in two libraries and am surrounded by books). Amazing. Her newest post is the fictionalized account of a real life legal case of unintentional bigamy that takes place in the late 1800s. It sounds fascinating.

Needless to say, I've added A Reading Journal to my blog roll and a few books to my tbr list. I think that all you bookworms would love Jem's blog as well. If you do visit her, let her know you're visiting compliments of the NE Bloggers Blog Carnival.

Interested in visiting other NE Bloggers? Here's the complete Blog Carnival List. Maybe you'll find a blog or two that speaks to you, too.