Sunday, March 6, 2011

Book Review: Inconceivable by Carolyn and Sean Savage


By now I'm sure most of you have heard Carolyn and Sean Savage's heartbreaking story. They are the couple who where inadvertently given the wrong embryos during an IVF treatment. When faced with this horrible and horrifying news, they decided to not only continue the pregnancy, but to surrender the child to his biological parents and not fight for custody of him. It's hard for me to imagine a worse situation to be in. And if faced with a similar situation, I'm not sure I would have been as strong, gracious or giving as the Savage's.

The story was made even more poignant by the fact that due to medical considerations, this would be Carolyn Savage's last pregnancy. She would not be able to undergo another IVF treatment with her own embryos. I can only imagine her heartbreak. How difficult must it have been to carry that baby for nine months, knowing you couldn't keep him? And not because you didn't want him. You do want him. Desperately. But you choose to do what's morally right. From the beginning, Carolyn and Sean thought about the biological parents and what they would want if the roles were reversed. And they based their actions on that. Putting their own feelings aside, as much as was possible.

Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift presents an honest and sometimes raw account of how Carolyn and Sean came to the decision they did and how they got through this most emotional of pregnancies and deliveries. It is a surprisingly honest presentation of their ordeal, in that the Savage's don't try to hide or sugar coat their experience. It is all revealed - the good, the bad and the ugly - but with an astonishing amount of grace, dignity and respect. Carolyn and Sean Savage are amazing people. I was so impressed with their courage and their strong sense of morals. My heart breaks for them.

This book is definitely not for everyone. It's certainly not a book that I'm telling everyone to read. For me, I was interested in reading it because I was so impressed by their story and I wanted to know more about how they came to make this difficult decision and how they were each able to reconcile this terrible situation in their own minds. Additionally, I am interested in all things medical, but especially medical and maternal. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about this strong and compassionate couple, readers who are fascinated with medical ethics or anyone who likes to read stories that force them to question how they would behave in a similar situation. What makes it all the more fascinating, heartbreaking and incomprehensible is that it is all true. 4 stars - I really liked it.



12 comments:

Sandy said...

I haven't read the book but I have seen interviews with the Savages. My thoughts whenever I've seen them is how sad they seem.

ericastarrforbis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Star Forbis said...

I saw them on the Today show. What a heartbreaking story.

LindyLouMac said...

No idea if this couples story is known outside the USA but I had certainly never heard of them before today. What a tragic story!

Karen Peterson said...

I can't imagine going through anything like this.

I'm definitely going to look for this book because it sounds like a good one.

Darlene said...

What a heart breaking ordeal to have to go through. I can't even begin to imagine it.

10yrstillhoping said...

Pam, Thanks so much for the positive review of our story. It was a real leap of faith to publish this book. In writing it we were forced to process what we had really been through and I am so glad that we had that opportunity. I think it has really helped us gain perspective on our journey.

I did want to comment to Sandy who thinks we seem sad. I think there has been a lot of sadness in our lives since Logan was born. It was completely unexpected too. I guess it wasn't as easy to let hime go as I had hoped. IN fact, I know now that I will always care about him.

In our book, I think we demonstrate to readers that it is possible to overcome sadness (along with very ugly feelings of resentment, anger and jealousy) in order to reach higher ground. We are very proud of what we did. Seeing Logan loved and adored by his family is incredibly rewarding!

I hope that readers will not only be riveted by our story, but also be inspired to persevere through the tough stuff that life tends to throw at everyone. Our situation was very unique, but we all face challenging situations in life. I hope that we can prove to a few people that there is untapped strength inside all of us that is there if we dig deep enough to reach it.

Thanks again for the review. It brought a big smile to my face!

Carolyn Savage

FranticMommy said...

Holy Cats. I don't know if I could read this one. Our last baby was via IVF. the PREP and cost that goes into even preparing for the procedure is nuts. I can't imagine going thru all that only to discover you can't keep your baby. I can only hope God is waiting in the wings with a new plan for these brave people.

Bethany said...

I saw this book in a magazine and have been wanting to check it out. I ordered it from the library-- such an interesting story. Actually, I think both sides have written a story. Did you read the other one?

Debbie said...

I read one other review of this and it just sounds like a very compelling book.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Wow. Life can bring some terrible situations, and it's great to see how someone works through all the pain to reach a state of acceptance and positivity.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading/following your page.Please keep it coming. Cheers!

 

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