Thursday, January 14, 2010

In Defense of Praise


In my last post I wrote about the assignment that Madeleine and I did for her English class on the book Lord of the Flies. Well today she came home and told me we got an A+!!! I am embarrassed to admit how excited I was to hear that. It's kind of sad really. I couldn't wait to look at the assignment and read the teacher's comments. It's amazing to me, that at 45 years old and many, many years since I was student, how important those comments were to me. I was not expecting to have that reaction. And it got me thinking...


No matter how old you are, it's nice to receive some validation, encouragement and appreciation for a job well done. I hadn't really thought about that with regards to myself. Of course, as a (mostly) stay at home mom, I don't have many opportunities to hear from a "supervisor" that I've done a good job. I don't mean to imply that my family is not thankful or appreciative of the work I do for them. Because they are and they express it frequently. There just aren't many performance reviews for stay home moms. (Thankfully!) And even in my part time job at the library I don't get that kind of feedback from my boss. It's not often that I hear my initiative was noticed or appreciated. Or that my ideas are valued. Or that my efforts didn't go unnoticed. Or that the extra projects I take on make the library a better place. Until today I didn't think that that kind of praise was a big deal. But you know what? It is. It feels really good when someone comments on something you've done well. It's nice to have feedback on your efforts. It's even nicer to know that someone notices and appreciates when you go above and beyond in your duties. So what do I do with this new found knowledge? Good question. Not sure what I will do about it with respect to my job. But I do know that I will be telling the people around me (and not just my kids) when they've done a good job. I will be sure to mention that I appreciated their extra efforts or that I noticed that they went over and above what was expected. Because you know what? We all deserve to receive recognition for a job well done. If for no other reason than that it feels good.

9 comments:

Sandy said...

I don't think you're ever too old to appreciate a little appreciation!

I'm not afraid to tell someone where it's appropriate that they are disappointing me or not doing a good job but I also try to remember to say "good job" when it's warranted or that I appreciate their efforts.

BTW congrats Madeleine!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Well put. Also, that your family does let you know they appreciate your efforts says something very important about you. Can you teach me how to do that?

Performance review would be nice. And a raise.

becca said...

I totally agree! And I think getting positive feedback and praise as a stay at home mom is also important! It's the hardest, most draining job in the world and I don't know if I could keep it up without a thank you from my husband every once in a while. A raise would be nice but...

Great post - and congrats to your daughter! That's fantastic!
visiting from Sits!

Sallie Cornwall said...

Aww.. That is nice.. Indeed it feels good to get praises like that.. Congratulations to you dear. Your daughter is also fantastic! Both of you are..

Anita said...

Job well done to Madeleine(and to you too)! I think praise and appreciation are undergiven, and should not be limited to our children for their school work, or to just bosses. As a SAHM, I dont' really have a superior, a boss, I set me own hours and do what I want, when I want. My family appreciates me, but rarely do I hear, great looking floors mom! They are good to me, so it's not all for nothing.
I like your take on this Pam.........and I like to give praise to all those who do a good job!

MissKris said...

I helped my son write an essay on Hitler back when he was a Senior in high schoole and 'we' got an A+. I was inordinately proud of it, too!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Positive feedback is something everyone craves and way too few people get. It took me a long time to get used to that--in school you get grades so at least you know where you stand, but in my first couple of jobs I got little or no feedback. Fortunately that changed for me. But clearly it's a risk for SAHMs, too.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I can't tell you how much it means to have my husband tell me something I've cooked was good. I just melt. Oh, and the positive comments from readers....it's almost why I write.
BTW, I spell my daughter's name the same way!

bettyl said...

It's never wrong to appreciate someone's effort--whether you appreciate the actual outcome or not. Thanks for the reminder.

 

Blog Design By Lindsey Joy Design © All Rights Reserved.