Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Busy, Busy, Busy

Here's a question for you. Is a woman who is basically a stay-at-home Mom (OK, technically I work part-time) allowed to complain talk about being busy and expect to be taken seriously by her breadwinner husband who has a full-time, stressful job?

When my kids were toddlers I was frazzled and hassled nearly all the time. When my darling hubby would ask me why I had such a difficult day, he would just roll his eyes when I listed all the things I had done that day. Like feeding the dog, taking a shower and making dinner. All in the same day! Come on. That was a super productive day back then. All you SAHMs out there can relate, right?

Then the kids got a little older and were in elementary school during the day and still I felt harried and hurried. Again, dear hubby would ask "Why so frantic"? I would explain my busy day. Working out, volunteering at school, running a quick errand and picking up the girls from school. Or, if it was a work day - drop kids off at school, quick shower, wolf down breakfast, work (from 10 - 2) and then afternoon pickup and drop off at lessons, practices, games, etc. Again, the eye rolling.

Time passes. The girls are now in Middle School and High School. I'm still working some days, but other days are busy with working out, running household errands, paying bills. You know, running a house. Of course some days include lunches with friends, nail appointments or the occasional shopping trip (only as an extra stop while running household errands, I swear). And still hubby rolls his eyes and chuckles when I say I've had a busy day.

OK, I admit it's a nice life. I'm lucky. I know that! And I'm beyond thankful for it. But, am I not allowed to say that I'm busy?

Apparently, my darling husband is not the only one who feels this way. It must be a common experience because last night on the TV show Family Guy (which I dislike and hubby enjoys immensely) Brian, the dog (don't ask), dressed up as Lois (the mother) and was pacing around the room muttering something along the lines of "Busy, busy, busy. I've got piano lessons, grocery shopping, laundry..." My husband was on the floor laughing. Needless to say, I did not see the humor in it. At all. I will say this, though. It did make me realize that my husband is not the only one to feel this way. I guess that does make me feel better. At least I know I'm not alone in having to deal with this.

I wonder if the eye-rolling would stop if I said I spent the day lounging around on the sofa watching soaps and eating bonbons!
Image from Google images


Debbie said...

Let him do what you do for a day or two - without your help. He'll scream uncle.

Gail said...

One of the things I've found to help with this "problem" is to go away for a couple of days -- during the week -- and leave him in charge of getting the kids out of the house in the morning and all the after school stuff along with laundry and dinner. If you are lucky you can get a birthday party or 2 in there too!

Pam said...

Gail and Debbie - I've tried this. Somehow it doesn't seem to work.

Anyway, I don't want to insinuate that my hubby is being a jerk when he does this. He's doing it in a humorous way, but it still makes me feel like I'm not taken seriously and that I'm not allowed to say I've had a busy day. It's kind of frustrating.

Candace Pease said...

I think most men are spoiled!! My parents are like you explain of yourself and my dad just doesn't understand, but he is the most spoiled man in the world. Just wanted to say hi from sits!

Alex the Girl said...

I agree with Gail and Debbie. They get to leave work at work and come home and be free...when can you say you've had that privilege? Bet its been awhile.

Robin said...

After my first child was born ( I have 2 and they are now adults), I decided to be a SAH mom. After a few months, my husband began coming home asking what I did all day. Because I felt my new job wasn't glamorous, interesting or worthy of recognition, I would just say "Not much. . .the usual" and leave it at that. I would get the rolling eyes and "Gee, it must be nice. Wish I could stay home and do nothing". Well, it only took a few times and I started making a written list of all I did during the day. After the second time that I asked what he did all day, he stopped asking me. Turned out, my list was much longer than his ever was.....much much much longer.
Hope your day is a beautiful one.


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